Hi everyone, I am new here, I've decided to gather some opinions from a forum and this just looked serious enough. I'm a 27 y.o. guy and I'm not a native English speaker, but I'm studying in the UK at the moment. I'm feeling very confused now for many reasons. So this is going to be a looong post. Ye be warned... In brief, my problem is both about understanding my real sexual orientation AND what I should do with a very close friend of my I feel attracted to. I'll start by saying I'm very unexperienced and immature under many respects. I've never lived on my own before turning 26, for complex economical reasons. I've never had a partner and I've only dated a couple of girls, with an 8 years gap in between. So basically I'm just a grown-up teenager! I've long felt attracted to one girl and I still do and can't change this fact. Albeit my attraction to girls, in my fantasies (and with the help of the internet, er...) I also enjoy gay or bi situations. I used to think that was because of lack of self-confidence with my own body, hence imagining other guys would help me imagining myself as someone else. But at times I've felt attracted to other "real-life" guys, especially when seeing them in locker rooms, but I've always credited it to envy. I must add that both my attraction to girls and toguys never felt particularly intense, I never had any physical reaction just by looking at or thinking of people I liked. I need more than that to get excited, but that's not a matter of genders. I have come to the point of thinking I am bi, but my inexperience leaves me uncertain. Now I've been abroad for a while, and I've met a guy who shares most of my interests and who is interesting under any respect. I've spent some weeks at him when I didn't have an accomodation and have grown increasingly fond of him. I've felt generally attracted to him (just as a person) from the first time I met him, and I feel very close to him as a friend. He has repeatedly expressed the same feeling, as a friend, and he says I'm pretty much the only reason he likes to live in that city (he is a foreigner, too). But while I also feel somewhat physically attracted to him, we have always only discussed girls (he has had many, and is currently but in an unhappy relationship with a girl). I never addressed issues about my sexuality, and he has never done anything to let me think he is not straight, but we are both quite private albeit open-minded. So my problem is that I can't tell how strong (or even real) my attraction to him is, and I can't tell whether he might be bi or not. I don't want to act too hastily or openly, because I feel he is the only person I really care of in the city. It's not just a "friendzone" situtation, it's an "one-and-only-real-friend-zone" situation! (Sidenote: I'm also facing very serious personal problems at the moment, and this guy has done anything to help me, so my closeness to him is also influenced by this.) So what would you people do, in my shoes? How can I test him, before being direct? And most importantly, how can I test myself before I do anything idiotic? I'm so very confused, and I now I sound stupid but I'm really looking for some advice...
