Hi all, I am a female having doubts about whether I am straight, lesbian or bi. I’ve had doubts for the past 4 years. I look at girls differently, and I fantasize mostly about girls, and I like reading stories about lesbian relationships. However I sometimes think that maybe I just want to have close female friends (I have no close male friends and don’t really long for any, my close friends are all female, but I am not anyone’s ‘BFF’ although I wish I was… So maybe I just want to have a close female friend. I also loved a guy at one point, and I've never had a relationship before, so I don't really have any experience both ways. I kissed a guy once and HATED it, so maybe that changed something? As in, maybe I currently don’t like the idea of men because of that but deep down I’m straight? It’s also worth mentioning that my family is very traditional as are my friends, so maybe I’m afraid of coming out because of the fear of rejection… And also admitting that I’m lesbian/bi would mean admitting I have/have had crushes on many friends… I've started really doubting the fact that I'm straight recently, but I find it hard to believe and maybe I'm not ready to accept it... Anyway I know ultimately I am the only one to know but has anyone had the same kind of trouble before and what was the outcome? Also, from this post, would you personally say I seem to be more bi/lesbian/straight?
I started questioning in 8th grade when I decided I was bi. I started noticing my attraction to girls (though I doubted for a long time that it was actual attraction and not just normal platonic feelings) but still thought I had had crushes on guys. I ended up realizing that I really only liked girls and that most (if not all) of my 'crushes' on guys had been some combination between the fact that I expected to have crushes on guys, I really liked the idea of being in a relationship, and I found guys aesthetically pleasing, even if I wasn't really attracted to them. Really, the only way to figure it out for sure is to wait. Give it some time and try to be conscious of who you are attracted to. That being said, from your description it sounds like you are likely bi.
Thanks for your reply, that really helps! Not having anyone gay/lesbian/bi that I know well makes it harder I guess
I'm glad I could help. And yeah, that definitely makes it harder. But you have everyone here at EC now, so that's something we'll help out anytime.
Thanks! What makes the confusion bigger is that although I have feeling for both (I think), they're not the same... Like, when I'm attracted to a girl or to a boy and I'm not attracted the same way... But thanks for your opinion! Now comes the accepting it part -_-
