my story & my question - can a girl like girls and still find boys attractive?

I think you are in a similar situation to me. You like the opposite sex (girls in my case, boys in yours) but are also starting to find the same sex attractive, am I correct? I'm not sure if I can be of much help besides offering empathy, though. It would be the blind leading the blind.

May I ask, who do you find yourself more attracted to, men or women? Is it possible you could be bisexual? Maybe you're misinterpreting an appreciation of beauty as sexual attraction?

Best of luck to you in figuring this all out.

 

There are no rules for who you can like and who you can find attractive. You are you. So try to focus on what that means.

Continue to pay attention to who you find compelling, both female and male. And if there's someone you find really compelling and you think they would be open to it, try asking them out (and this gets easier to navigate as you get older).

But relax, and don't worry about "can I do A if I like B?" The answer is always yes.

 

Straight guys can tell when another man is attractive. Straight girls can tell when another woman is attractive. Just because you can tell that someone is good looking doesn't mean you would want to be with them sexually/romantically.

I can tell when a man is very attractive and has a good personality. But, i couldn't be with a man in a romantic/sexual manner. It is out of my comfort level and doesn't feel like my norm.

I can even tell when a woman is very attractive, but not have any interest in her.

So your not blind, you can still tell when something is your ideal of beauty. Just like a painting.

For the other part of your post:
-when I was around the age of twelve I found myself trying to imagine what girls looked like without clothes. I know it might sound creepy... please don't think I'm a total creep.

- once puberty hit and I started to notice that my body, along with the bodies of my friends were changing shape and developing, I started to become nervous and anxious around my female classmates.

- I started to get bullied in grade four by a group of girl who would torment me because I didn't wear skirts or dresses like they did and preferred sweats and sweaters.

- I can't remember when but I lost all of my self confidence that I'd had in my younger years of school.

I don't think that has anything to do with sexual orientation. You were abused by your peers. Just because you didn't wear skirts or dresses doesn't have anything to do with your sexuality. Many young women get anxious and uncomfortable about the changes their body is going through. I use to wear oversized sweat jackets in grade 3 to grade 5. I was the only one developing and i was not comfortable with my body. Takes a while for someone who is going through puberty to accept their new body in my opinion.

I've never had a dad around to show me how a man is supposed to love a woman (in the sense of seeing my father kiss my mother when he gets home from work and tell her that she looks beautiful even when she's puffy-eyed and I'll.)

There are many people of all orientations that just had a one parent household. So just because you didn't have a father didn't make you gay or points to you being gay.

I would really focus on how your crushes differ for male and female. Are they the same or is it different? Which sex do you experience stronger crushes for? First i think you have to define what a crush is to you.

When i am with men, i can think they are attractive and love them a lot as a person. But, them touching me sexually or being romantic with me is weird to me and uncomfortable. I only love them like a brother.

Women i want to take care of them, hug them, kiss them, be the center of their attention.

Really analyze your past feelings towards each sex and then decide from there. Take your time and only you know what your sexuality is.

Also if they have LGBT centers in your country (near you) they usually offer support and free counseling. Could always check them out.

 

I know lesbians that have had crushes on guys because of heteronormativity but don't have real romantic or sexual inclinations. And anyone can find anyone attractive. For example: Go to buy a pair of shoes. You're going to admit that some shoes look better than others, but does that mean you want to have sex with them?

 

I also wanted to add... as you get older you will discover more about your sexuality and about yourself. You may as you get older become more sure of that your sexuality is your sexuality or you may find out that you no longer fit the label you first assigned to self.

So what i am saying is (example) at 20 you may feel you are a lesbian, by the time you are 26 you may find out you are bisexual and just lean more toward women. So time really does give you confidence and discovery of who you truly are and there is nothing wrong with changing labels as you get older.

I am still discovering new things about myself.

 

The best advice I ever was given in regards to sexual orientation was to keep an open mind and do what feels right. Don't worry about labels, don't worry about preconceived notions, just go with the flow. I know it sounds like hippy feel good bs, but letting go of those things and exploring is something worth trying.

 

I would think a girl who likes girls and find men attractive or is attracted to men would be bisexual .
there's more than just being gay or straight .
Unless you're talking about just finding them aesthetically attractive and being able to notice if their good looking then yeah you can be still gay .

 

I don't like labeling people. Try to figure out how men and women both make you feel. Do they both turn you on? Or do you just notice beauty in men but have sexual attraction towards women? You could be lesbian or you could be bi. And yes, you can be bi and be way more attracted to women than men. Bisexuality is rarely 50-50 attraction. At times I have been more 50-50 but usually my attraction is 40% women 60% men. Every bisexual has different degrees of attraction. It is definately possible. But with time, you will figure out if you are bi or truely lesbian. You are fine either way! Also, if you are bi, you CAN only ever date women if that is what you prefere. It just means you are attracted to both sexes, but not that you have to be with both sexes if you do not want. But you will figure out your orientation with time. Just keep in tune to your feelings; keep noticing how you feel.