I am a heterosexual female that fell for a lesbian girl all from just one kiss. After we kissed she started to contact me more. Via text, calling, etc. and i liked it. I also decided to come to her house one weekend as well . I went. We did not have sex, but I did let her go down on me. Which I liked. Now, again I have never been with a Girl before. I really like this girl we work together as well. Anyways we became much closer. Long story short. We would start arguing alot over dumb stuff. She said that I went out to much, she couldnt trust me, and that to many guys were calling my phone. I told her that they were just friends. About a week ago she told me that we could no longer mess around because she had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship and she wasnt ready to be in a relatinship or date. Now I became very confused becasue by this time we had sex for the first time. We were always together, and if felt like she really did like me. She said that I was toxic and that she needs to get herself together but she does want to remain friends. I told her that I don't want to be friennds. I like what we shared. I have not been with anyone since 2010 and I liked the attention, compassion she felt for me, etc. I am so confused I cant stop thinking about her. I have tried and we have only messed around roughly 4 weeks. I dont know what happend. I understand what she is saying but she just cut me off completly. I am devested and confused at the sametime. Recently we had an argument about this break-up and she told me she no longer wants to talk about it. We have not spoken or texted in 3 days. She did text me yesterday to wish me happy bday but I did not respond. Also I tried to convince her and she told me by doing that I would never win her back. Not sure what she meant by that. can u please help me? can we be friends? should i respond if she text me? do u think she will ever want me back as to what we were before since now we arent speaking, but i do have to see her at work? Why did she do this to me? I did read that lesbian break it off with straight girls to protect themselves from being hurt. Thanks in advance for helping me. Straight Girl
Yes ... I have thought about it but I don't knw if this a phase I'm going threw. I'm not attracted to girls just her .
You may be bisexual, but as you said it's only one girl. You should try to stay friends with her wait and find out if this will work for both of you.
How do u stay friends with someone you have feelings for? It's hard because I want want we had ! She told me to stop trying to convince her into changing her mind .
As good as definitive labels are, they unfortunately sometimes cause barriers between people. They are just guidelines but they aren't concrete. Just because you've never had feelings for another girl other than her, doesn't make the feelings you have for her any less valid. And I think you need to explain that to her. Hope all works out!
So as a female who described herself as straight most of her life, I can totally relate. I can relate to the "but it was just her" comment. At 14 I fell in love with with my hs bf and so ensued a crazy tumultuous relationship with her for twenty years. I was never physical with her, our relationship was deeply emotional. I wished for it to be physical but since we were both "straight" girls...in a religious school, never happened. We both eventually married men, and had kids. Our relationship continued. And it was so complicated. But here's what I learned and I think u may have a similar situation. I love people for people, their personality. Their gender is irrelevant to me. I am Married to a man but could see myself with a woman. I at first that I had feelings for my bf and only her, it was a one time deal...but after processing eveything I have come to accept that I am attracted to women and the emotional connection they provide and that I am in fact bi. But don't get lost in a label. They aren't necessary, love who you love. Now, with ur situation please know that you are a person deerving of love and commitment. Don't Chase someone who is clearly telling you and showing you who they are. You said it perfectly "how do you stay friends with someone you have feelings for?" ---simple, you don't, you can't. I told Myself for years that myself and my bf were just that, bf. Nope. Not even close. It slowly chipped away at my self esteem and my heart for years. It's not only about letting her go, it's about letting your heart rest in peace. Maybe think about exploring relationships with females...it may be about what she provides you and not necessarily about her anymore. Enjoy your life good luck.
