I have actually been able to trace my sexuality to showing some small signs when I was very young. I think I was way too close to my best friend who was male at the time. I hung around him all the time and I followed him blindly and did whatever he did and so I think it's definitely true that I may have had one of those silly crushes on him. I've only just realized that so many of my actions are so suggestive of my sexuality. Even the small things. I can't think of any reason to even say, "You aren't gay," because everything just screams yes you are gay even when I think about some of the things I did during my childhood. It was all unconscious and now thinking about it, It's always felt right and never felt wrong to call myself gay. I guess I'm lucky to have actually found out my sexuality with no help from anyone and By the way for some advice, Do you think in my childhood what I did could be directly linked to my sexuality and could be considered a crush on another guy. I'm sorry for all this, it's just everyday I find something more and it really makes me understand myself more.
That moment when i was at ~12 years old, when i had this friend over, and we stayed up late and were goofing off and somehow we started wrestling, shirtless of all things (it's funny, because it was quite cold), and somehow i wound up pinning him, and we sat there just... looking at one another... and, yeah. Basically, i was quite dumb and oblivious about things, up until i was in my early 20's. Oh, thinking about all the missed opportunities... I want to travel back in time and hit myself with a brick. But it's reality... Of all the things we are perceptive of, ourselves, we can never view objectively, thus it's quite hard to realize these things, especially early on.
