Hi everyone, First of all: English is not my native language so please excuse me if i make some mistakes. Also if I happen to use "inappropriate" language or something, I do not mean to do so! I'm sorry if any of you think that my whole talk is kind of trivial or something like that but, I just had the feeling that I need to share, talk an hear some voices about it, because I never talked about it before and I just feel "different" and a bit insecure. Here's the thing: I'm a woman, and feel perfectly comfortable with it. I did have a straight boyfriend and I have only felt attracted to men up until now.(Besides one short period where I also did feel somehow attracted to my female best friend, but that was a different kind of attraction).I get aroused by male homoerotic, in my own fantasy I even picture myself with a man, as a man even though I'm cofortable with being a woman I never questioned that fact and always just took it as natural for me, discovered that I was into that when I was about 14/ 15. But still I'm very unsure if it comes to telling others about it (for instance my boyfriend) and sometimes think: "being a woman and still having male homoerotic preferences and fantasies, somehow doesn't go quite together...". I mean I know there's a lot of yaoi out there and I think the audience is mostly female, but still I can't shake the feeling of that I'm still different. I think that's mostly because no one talks about this kind of preference and I never really talked about it before, not even with my boyfriend. I did drop a line about liking yaoi, but I don't know if "liking" yaoi and having the preferences I do, are equal. I only did tell my two closest friends reluctantly about my preferences but we never talked about it and I didn't get any reaction, neither a "ah that's no big deal"-reaction nor a "your strange"-reaction and I didn't want to bring it up again. Again I'm sorry if any of you think that my whole talk is kind of trivial or something like that, but I just had the feeling that I need to share and to talk about it, because I never did before.. I'm happy about every reply 新雪(shinsetsu)
I don't know if that's so unusual, it's like straight men who like lesbian porn. In fact, I think a lot of gay romance fiction is written by, for, and marketed to straight women. All that manliness and power going on. If it's limited to sexual fantasy, and you don't mind being a woman or having a woman's body in general I'd say it's a fetish, and having a fetish is perfectly normal even though people don't usually talk about them.
Very much agree with DragonHerz.... Many people have sexual fantasies that do not match their gender or sexuality. I think yaori (sp?) is very entertaining and sexy. I agree that if you are happy with your sex (male/female) then just a fetish.
