Hi guys and gals, I'm Angelus. As a FTM Transgender , its hard to figure out what I am sexually and romantically. ive had sex with three guys, as when I was under stealthy female straight thing.... I loved it. but it was more then sex, being with a man, on his arm. Felt GREAT. I felt safe, admired, wanted, and dreamed of. But when I had my female crushs when I was younger, I only got to kiss one girl, and it felt...Well...Weird. My openly heteroflexible Roommate is female, She tried sex with me, and I just flat out whent NOPE , nothing, zip. I cant think of why not, shes a sweet woman. but I just cant . no spark. no flame. I stayed under the veil of female straight thing, while dating my ex fiancé. Tons of pleasurable sex yes. And wonderful romance. But, I found as the more I became Desiring to be transgender, as I am... to be , as I am. a man. meant Hormones... And hormones, would destroy my feminine appearance. and that's when it became obvious. I was GAY. A gay man in Woman's body. Yeah that's easy to explain isn't it....GRR!! I tried to be bisexual, pansexual, it just wont Freaking work. My mother drilled into me, that having gay sex is disease ridden. I don't wanna believe it but shes manipulative and I no longer talk to her. but the fear, is keeping me from exploring my gay sexuality. GRRR!!! I also fear most gay men wont wanna date me since im still pre Hormones/ pre op. Female. GRRR!! Hugs!
There's somebody out there for everyone (or so they tell me.) I feel the same way you do. Im a lesbian female trapped in a boys body. You aren't alone. But where do we look to find love.??
This is my personal opinion. FTM = Male MTF = Female When I'm attracted to a guy, it's not because he has or hasn't got specific body parts. And I'm sure a lot of other gay men (and women) feel the same way. With regards to sexual diseases etc... If you both use protection, you'll be fine. Basically just don't sleep with someone that you don't trust.
I've never been in your position, and I can imagine finding your sexuality when you're transgender is a really difficult process. It's absolutely possible that you're a gay man. Obviously your mom wasn't very informed, so I wouldn't take her advice to heart. There's nothing wrong or 'dirty' about being gay. As for the romance side of things, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that nobody will date you. There are some very open minded and open hearted (yes, I know that's not a word ) guys out there that will see you for who you truly are.
