Well, I've done this enough times but still don't really know... As you probably know, I've had one crush that I haven't seen in five years, and never had one since and I can appreciate good looks without finding a person good looking. WhenI look back on it, the person was a really nice person, so maybe it was her personality that I was attracted to... Or maybe I have really high standards...
it's good to focus more on attractive personalities than on good looks. the attractive personality generally lasts longer, and even in the short term I would take a good personality over a good looking guy any day. as far as having really high standards, well yeah, that can be a problem. Not that you should have low standards, but we have to be realistic. After all, I certainly hope that there are always some realistic people out there who will want to be with me! Five years is a long time between relationships though. But only if you are interested in having a relationship. Not everyone is.
Yeah that's what I look for too: personality. Anyone (and I mean anyone) can look at a person and say whether they look attractive or not, but if you don't like their personality, that's a pretty obvious indicator that it won't work out. For a while, I was confused about whether I was gay, straight, or bi. Everyday my orientation would feel different. What threw me off though is that all my life, I've never had feelings for guys my around my age. Guys, to me, were always my friends. What made me think I was gay was the sexual thoughts I had with older, dominant men. Turns out it's something I wish to see in myself, because all my life I've been a wuss. I knew this was true when I experimented with an older man near my area and found the whole experience to be terrible, and after we were done I cut off my connection with him immediately, telling me that it wasn't going to work lol. I learned that while I enjoyed watching porn that involved those men, participating in it provided no enjoyment. Makes sense because I'm not into guys that way anyways. So with that said, I think what would help you is finding out where your feelings are, and what you do when you find someone attractive, personality wise.
