1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Porn VS Sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by JohnDoe1995, Dec 6, 2014.

  1. JohnDoe1995

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2014
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I've read that the type of porn you watch does not define your sexual orientation. Is it true? Can anyone give me some kind of proof? (Scientific research or somthing). I would also like to hear personal thoughts & experiences.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Tardis2020

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2014
    Messages:
    394
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Its true. Plenty of people here have said that they watch porn involving a gender they're not attracted to.
     
  3. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's absolutely true for my case. I consider myself straight because I have feelings for girls, and when I hang out with a girl that I like I always have a wonderful feeling, and would imagine the perfect relationship with them.

    I thought I was gay because of the porn I watched, and how in reality I basically looked for the same people I watched in porn. It only included older men (father-like figures, for example). The idea of two buff, dominant men doing it with each other turns me on because the concept of it is taboo.

    However, if I were to love a man in the real world, it wouldn't work because I would only want to have sex with him, and that's about it. Relationships aren't about sex. In fact, it's one of the smallest parts that make up a healthy relationship. If there's any reason for you to like someone and possibly date them, it'll be because you like them for who they are and how they make you feel, not because they a nice ass, boobs, pecs, etc. Don't get me wrong, those are great bonuses, but it's not what people look for in reality.

    Recently, I've discovered that my attraction to older men is a direct representation of what I wish to see in myself: dominant, buff, and assertive. Despite the fact that I could imagine having sex with them, I know it wouldn't work out because I'm not wired to guys that way.
     
  4. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    #4 stocking, Dec 6, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2014
  5. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's not really that simple. There are plenty of people who are 100% straight and watch only straight pern... And an equal percentage who are totally gay and watch only gay porn. But arousal is complex, nuanced, and driven by many things. So porn, by itself, is not an accurate indicator of orientation.

    However, masturbatory fantasies, *not* connected to porn you have watched, are generally a pretty accurate indicator.
     
  6. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    This
     
  7. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    And what if they are connected to porn? I think in my case I'm trying to bring fantasy into reality. If I'm using my thoughts to masturbate, and it comes to sex with older men, it is primarily directed towards the type of men that I watch in porn...

    This is for me, at least:
    Fantasy - Sex with and older man feels amazing
    Reality - Sex with and older man feels wrong
     
  8. pennylane1988

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2014
    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    National City
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I totally agree with this.
     
  9. Justinian20

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2014
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Brisbane Australia

    I agree with this as well, it perfectly describes my previous couple of years in relation to sexual stuff. I never watched porn and yet I've had masturbatory fantasies involving relationships, romance and sex with a member of the same sex.
     
  10. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    if it's from porn I would think it's inaccurate ,but if it was not from porn accurate .
     
  11. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I'm a lesbian. I only get off to gay (male) porn. It's not the men that attracts me but the scenery. Lesbian porn is crap and made for straight men, but gay porn is usually more realistic and the guys look like they're having fun. Yes, there's unrealistic gay ones and "gay for pay" but It's still easier to find the realistic stuff compared to lesbian porn.

    If I wasn't watching porn, I'd think about women.
     
  12. aboutface

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2014
    Messages:
    136
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    Mississippi (US)
    Well it should be obvious by now that porn and orientation don't always match for everyone.

    I'll go ahead and be an example in the opposite direction. They totally match in my case.
     
  13. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I believe this as well. The idea of porn in itself is so taboo because of the act itself. Actually doing it with that man near my area proved to be "not my type of things".

    I immediately regretted doing it, or is this some type of internalized homophobia that I'm dealing with? If I have sex with a guy, it's almost like having sex with my friend, cause in general I consider guys as my friends... the struggle is real.

    ---------- Post added 7th Dec 2014 at 09:17 PM ----------

    Yeah for others is totally matches. One of my straight friends watch lesbian porn and nothing else, as far as I know.
     
  14. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    @Jax I think like if you're attracted to these men and feel guilty about sleeping with them but I don't think you have internalized homophobia from what you wrote .
     
  15. EpicConfusion

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2014
    Messages:
    944
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I would be lying if I said I had no feelings towards women, I can't really define them because I get aroused by girls, yet I have no interest in having sex with them. I'm gay but I mostly watch straight porn and I get really turned on by the way girls moan. It's kind of confusing me... but I know that I'm gay even though I have doubts sometimes.
     
  16. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I kind of feel the same in reverse. Sometimes I like the way men moan because it sounds so real in porn. I do think when girls do it it's really sexy, but I never liked it in too many porn movies because it sounded fake. But I don't think liking porn makes us less gay.
     
  17. MissBookworm

    MissBookworm Guest

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2014
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hogwarts, NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Pornography has nothing to do with your sexuality! Just look at the demographics from all of the studies done on it.
     
  18. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Thank you MissBookworm :eusa_clap