Few years ago i thought i was bisexual, then i went with gay and after coming here, i stuck with panromantic, and then changed to pansexual. The term "pansexual" felt right to me and i was feeling safe under it's "blanket". Anyway, i have this friend (who i met here, of all places), and they constantly engage me in these deep discussions about stuff that i won't even bother listing here. So after one of our discussions, my belief that i'm pansexual, was kind of shaken up a little bit. So to summarize how i'm feeling. Basically, i fall way too easily for guys, i can't see myself being with a girl, but i do feel some attraction to trans/androgyne/genderfluid (sorry if i'm mixing these up) people. At the end of the day however, i do feel the strongest, towards guys and imagine myself with one. All this being said, my actual sexual drive is not all that big, i don't even think about what it would be like to do anything more than hugging and kissing. The idea of doing more, doesn't necessarily repulse me, but it's not something that i find interesting, to focus on. So here's the $1.000.000 question... Should i continue to go by pansexual, should i switch to panromantic, maybe asexual or simply gay? At the end of the day, i personally don't care too much about labels, but i do see the benefit of having at least an idea. Also, do note that i've never had a relationship before. Never kissed/hugged or did any kinky stuff.
http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/161184-what-label-am-i.html The label you pick shouldn't be based on what you actually feel like but what you want. Do you want to date guys only or are do you want to be able to date anyone? You seem to me like you're just gay since you say you feel the strongest attraction to guys. You could just say your gay and find a partner where sex isn't a big deal rather than attempt having to explain what romantic orientation is to everyone you meet you know?
Just because you have a preference for men doesn't mean you can't be pansexual if you have attractions to all genders that should could . Sexual orientation is not just about who you want to date . It could be me saying since I want to date a man since I'm not comfortable being a lesbian that I am now straight even though I'm sexually attracted to women and not men .
I appreciate you trying to help. That being said, i don't agree with a lot of what you said here and in the thread you referred to me. I am currently unable to go into a huge debate as to why this is, due to me being quite emotional and tired, therefore risking blurting out something stupid and incoherent. Please do note that i find value in your post, even if i don't necessarily agree with it.
That's different. Here it's not what you really want it's more of a decision. If you can only see yourself being with whatever gender then you need to decide accordingly what you will identify as.
I don't agree with this , that's like saying if a bisexual person wants to be or marries the opposite gender they should label themselves straight . If a person is attracted to more than one gender in my book their either bisexual or pansexual there is no requirement on how much their suppose to like each gender or who they want to end up with . I've known a man who is bisexual but wanted to end up with a woman because he thought he couldn't have kids with a man is it to say he's straight ? I mean come on it isn't who you end up with it's who your attracted to . Some people also don't want to end up with anyone being either gay or straight or even bi and just like dating or casual sex should these people then be called asexual ? What about a straight man who doesn't want to date anyone or marry one and likes being a bachelor is he an asexual man now ?
Yeah most bachelors do . attraction does count to take who you're attracted to out of sexual orientation is a bit silly to me . sure who you want to be with counts but it's not the only thing that counts . If someone pans or bi prefers one gender over others it doesn't make them less bi because their not like a gay or straight person where they only want one gender for sex and relationships . So why box bisexual and pansexual people in that have a preference for a certain gender ?
