1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Sexual orientation feels messed up and in a relationship

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by lil legs, Dec 8, 2014.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. lil legs

    lil legs
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2014
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey guys, I have a massive problem right now, I've had a boyfriend for almost 3 years, with a break for a few months in the middle. I feel like I'm having phases, going from one sexuality to the other, I've loved my boyfriend so much, and I still do, but lately, especially yesterday, I'm not feeling attracted to him, i feel like im becoming more attracted to girls. I didn't even feel that much into sex with him unlike normally when I see him, where I'm usually all over him while we're trying to watch a film. My mate at work who is my age has am extremely attractive girlfriend and sometimes I just think I'd like a girl who was that fit than have a bf, it's not like those thoughts are me, I never used to think like that, at the start of this year, I just wanted a slim twink, now though, I feel like that has changed. And I don't know what to do, this wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't in a relationship, but unfortunately (or not) I am, which means if my sexual identification changes then it will really hurt my bf.
     
    #1 lil legs, Dec 8, 2014
  2. Reptillian

    Reptillian
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2012
    Messages:
    602
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Well, there is a possibility that your sexual orientation is changing, and if it is, then it is entirely possible that you may become bi or even exclusively straight, and there is nothing you can so to stop the progression of changes. There's often elements of denial, and unwanted feelings as those feelings are unwanted at first. Also, it may be possible that you could come into terms with it.

    As for me, I used to be heterosexual till my ability to feel sexual attraction withered away on it own. At first, I was in denial of that, but then I realized that not everybody is born that way and non-choices changes could be plausible.
     
    #2 Reptillian, Dec 8, 2014
  3. lil legs

    lil legs
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2014
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks, I was able to accept my sexuality as a homosexual quite easily because of my amazing bf who, at the time was just exploring himself, we fell in love and one thing led to another, it felt so amazing, now I'm feeling like I don't want to have sex with him or don't feel attracted it's broken me more than exploring homosexuality in the first place.
     
    #3 lil legs, Dec 8, 2014
  4. soulcatcher

    soulcatcher
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2014
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    You're probably sexually fluid. You could discuss these stuff with your boyfriend if you want.
     
    #4 soulcatcher, Dec 8, 2014
  5. lil legs

    lil legs
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2014
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    How does someone who is sexually fluid maintain a long term relationship?
     
    #5 lil legs, Dec 8, 2014
  6. soulcatcher

    soulcatcher
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2014
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I don't know. It is couples choice really. There are different possibilities, such as being in an open relationship or waiting for your attraction to pass.

    Perhaps, you could get a relationship therapist to help with your relationship.
     
    #6 soulcatcher, Dec 8, 2014
  7. Reptillian

    Reptillian
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2012
    Messages:
    602
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Relationship therapy is best bet, but if you are truly are becoming bisexual, then there needs to be a talk and some understanding. If you are becoming heterosexual, then there need to be some real talk and some understanding along with acceptance that the relationship is doomed to fail.
     
    #7 Reptillian, Dec 8, 2014
  8. lil legs

    lil legs
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2014
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks for your help guys, unfortunately I think my relationship is pretty much over, which is devestating, unfortunately my bf (possibly ex) has left me with the most difficult decision of my life, just because I don't feel like we can be bf's right now, he thinks we can only be bf's or we lose contact completely. I helped him through so much how he has no one but if I can't love him like he deserves it, and just can't be happy with him, I don't feel I have much choice :/
     
    #8 lil legs, Dec 8, 2014
  9. soulcatcher

    soulcatcher
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2014
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    After glancing over the last few threads, perhaps it is not that your sexual orientation is changing, but just you being in unhappy relationship and considering other options.
     
    #9 soulcatcher, Dec 9, 2014
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)