I have crushes on men (COMPLETELY different from platonic attraction) but what I fantasize about is more like caressing, kissing, running my hands through their hair, saying I love you, etc. Physical closeness and physical contact (of the type that would be completely weird and innapropriate with regular friends) appeal to me but penetration and stuff to do with the genitalia, not so much (I've even tried "self-pleasuring" and it does nothing for me, it's a sensitive area but nothing good or bad either way). Sometimes when I see someone I'm attracted to I describe them in my head as sexy or hot, but that just means I think it would be nice have non-genital physical contact with their skin. Also, I don't think this could work out if I didn't know for sure that they're a nice person, and respect me. I don't know if that means I'm demisexual or what (because I fantasize about celebrities but I still concoct a certain persona and character for them in my mind, so they're not like a robot or object or animal or somthing). The thought of animalistic Intercourse and acts heavily involving and focused on the genitalia weird me out. The whole "going at it like rabbits expression" I find disgusting. I've never gone on a date before but I guess my ideal date would be doing a fun activity where we both have a common interest, talking about interesting topics, talking about ourselves, and then doing the physical skin contact stuff while watching a movie or something. I'm definitely a romantic person, and like I said touch and contact to the skin appeals to me, whether it's the hands, face, or stomach (keep in mind I'd never do this with just a friend). I honestly yearn for this and can't wait until i find someone i love to have this expetience with. Just really not genitalia, it's weird. There's no point in anything touching down there unless it's toilet paper, because I don't derive anything from it.
Since asexuality's the lack of sexual attraction by what you're describing you might be. Maybe you're a touchy-feely asexual who really enjoys physical contact and romantic situations. Or graysexual which means you feel sexual attraction occasionally but not necessarily after a bond is formed like demisexuality. If you have anymore questions maybe you could go ask on AVEN..? Since it's a site focused mainly on asexuality it might be of some help to you.
I can honestly say you're sex repulsed like I am. Generally, the bodily fluids that get exchanged during sex really makes me not ever want to try it. The moaning and suction is just, like, eww! But overall, if you aren't sexually attracted to anyone, you are asexual. You can enjoy sex, you can even initiate it for various reasons such as, to please a partner, to satisfy an urge, to satisfy a curiosity, etc. etc. Wanting or not wanting sex isn't what determines if whether or not you're asexual. The main thing you have to determine is if whether or not you're sexually attracted to anybody. If sexual attraction is absent, then it doesn't matter if you have urges or even like sex. If attraction is absent, you're asexual. Of course this is what I've read on various asexuality websites. For me, I lack sexual attraction and yet I have a moderate libido, but I plan on being a virgin for life, because I'm too grossed out by it to even try it. Here's some good sources: Asexuality (Am I Still Asexual If…?) Overview | The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | asexuality.org
I'll look into that website. Yeah, the best way to describe the way I'm attracted to the opposite sex is sensual, romantic, and emotional attraction (that sometimes even involves butterflies, warm feelings, and racing heartbeats); I have no desire for intercourse/penetration and physical contact with underwear on would even be enough for me. Sometimes I do get aroused but not at the thought of that behavior, more at the thought of just being intimate. I don't think I'd really like to try it either because it would be so awkward. I'd be there like well this is boring and my partner would be enjoying it. Plus I wouldn't want to have to put up with the pain, discomfort, etc. if I'm not even getting anything out of it. Honestly, I think it would feel like an invasion of personal territory. I'll probably end up being a lifelong virgin (unless someone coaxes me into it and I decide to do it for them) and I'm actually a little embarrassed by that because to the average person virginity is associated with people who are deeply religious (I'm atheist), people who were abused (I had a great childhood), and people who are childlike or emotionally stunted (I think of myself as pretty mature for my age).
