I am in the throes of questioning my orientation, have my entire life; married for 12 years, 37 years old. I am much more physically attracted to men than women and they always steal my attention at the beach, stores, etc. It's about 80% to 20% - I find women attractive but can say with confidence that guys are hotter / cuter to me. Despite my attraction, I have a hard time imagining being intimate with another man. It kind of scares me. What if it doesn't work? What if I 'came out' and then it didn't feel right? Could this be more of a fetish then anything? Any advice / thoughts would be helpful!
Hey man, it makes total sense to me! I've just recently come to terms with the fact that I'm attracted to guys as well, but I still have a hard time imagining being intimate with another guy. I've been wondering about the same thing! I feel like I'm still conflicted about it, so I think it's just about accepting it. Just need to give it some time
Hi lostboy, I used to be where you are. For me my feelings haven't been constant. As I acknowledge one "level" of attraction, it seems to allow myself to think of the next level. I don't know what I'm doing, either, so don't consider me an expert. I think take things slowly and allow yourself time to get in touch with who you are. I'm 45 and just had my first sexual experience with a guy 2 years ago. Since then I'v made out with a total of 5 guys. It has only gotten to the point of oral. The first guy I was with kissed me. It was okay, but I was thinking maybe I'm not gay because there were no "sparks." Well, last month the guy I made out with kissed me and I'm still processing what it felt like. Oh boy, there were most certainly sparks.
I've been with 4 women in my life, and have enjoyed them - enjoy sex, enjoy their bodies ( thought not as much as a guy's body ) - I'm not sure if I recall ever feeling sparks .... it was 'nice' but sparks? I guess that's what I'm looking for ... what we all look for ...
You could just be bisexual with a preference for guys, bicurious or homo/heteroflexible. Maybe none of the above. Don't worry so much about labels, take the time to focus on how you feel and then work out what to call it. Blessings, best wishes and good vibes to you.