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Help!!! I am very confused and im not sure what to do!!!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by thatgirl943, Dec 9, 2014.

  1. thatgirl943

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Ok so I am not really sure where to begin. I'm a girl in high school and for the past year and a half, I have began to question my sexuality. I find girls very a attractive, and I feel like I can connect with them better than a can with a boy. I'm not homophobic, but I fear that if I am gay, then my friends and family will not accept me. How can I even be sure if I am gay in the first place? I have only had one boyfriend, and we didn't click. But I have never had a girlfriend. How can I explore my sexuality without coming out? And what if this is just a phase or something? I feel like I have nobody to talk to, and there is not a day that passes that I don't think about my situation. I have so many questions, but I don't know what to do. ALMOST ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP AT THIS POINT. Thanks!!!
     
  2. Chiroptera

    Admin Team Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey thatgirl943,

    Welcome to EC :slight_smile:
    First of all, relax. Only you can tell for sure what your orientation is. What i recommend is thinking about it, but without rushing into a conclusion. Calmly, stay alone for a bit and slowly think about questions like this: Do you feel attracted to men? What about women? Don't worry about labels like "gay" or "straight", just think about yourself without organizing the results on a box.

    Take it slow, this is only about you, there is no need to rush things. Take all the time you need to think. :icon_wink
    Lots (peraphs i should say most) of people that eventually come out do think initially it may just be a phase (myself included), but that's part of the denial process.

    There is no point of lying here, so, indeed, there is the risk of being rejected by friends or family. But there is always the chance that you are making a big deal of it and everyone (or most of them) are taking it well.

    For myself, everyone was a bit shocked, but i didn't lost any friends or had big problems with my family. That's not always the case, but you may analyze the situation and predict a little what their reactions would be. But i recommend that you don't worry about coming out to others for now, just think about yourself. :thumbsup:

    The biggest advice i have to you, summing it up, is to take things slowly and think about yourself, calmly. If you indeed conclude that you aren't straight, then you may worry about how you will deal with it, if you want to come out, etc. But for now, don't worry about the others.

    Finally,

    Ask them! We are here to help! :slight_smile:

    Last advice: On the top-right of this site, there is a tab called "Resources". Take a look there, there are lots of helpful stuff!

    Hugs (*hug*)
     
  3. The feeling of not having anyone to talk to is horrible I've been there so I'm here if you need to talk and feel free to ask questions :slight_smile:
    Give yourself time to explore and don't worry too much about labels. It's okay if you don't know your sexuality right away. It took me a long time to even accept the fact I was gay. It all sort of comes in time. I don't really know how to explain it. As far as acceptance from family and friends that was one of the most scary parts for me it still is. A lot of my friends know but my parents don't due to the fact I have a religious family. Most of my friends were accepting and some weren't. The truth is true family and friends will love you no matter who you are or choose to be. There are always gonna be people that don't like you for something it's natural but just taking the step to come out is a very brave thing to do. Long story short you don't need to know right away labels aren't important and just take it slow and discover who you are and when you know, you just know. Be yourself and don't let the opinions of others hold you back.
     
  4. ANewDawn

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Thankfully I have a therapist or I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone. My family and all my friends are super religious and the fear of someone quoting the "abomination" line to me is really scaring me into staying in the closet.
     
  5. Imagery

    Imagery Guest

    Don't ever believe that you have no one to talk to. What do you think we are all here for? Most of us have been or are in your situation and would be more than happy to help you. Don't be afraid to tell what you feel.