I know most of us are here to hear the opinions of others, and I know I am, but has anyone else ever had an experience where they feel like they're depending on someone else's opinion too much? Many years ago a psychiatrist who actually did not know me at all told me I should "get a boyfriend" and when I said I wanted a girlfriend he said "Why? You don't seem lesbian." Which is actually a really unprofessional thing to say for any number of reasons. But I keep thinking "Well, he was a psychiatrist and he thought I was straight so I must be." I actually think it's probably true that I'm not lesbian, more likely bi, but I wish I could get over remembering this guy's lousy advice like it should determine my life. (And a different professional who did know me told me the opposite, but I won't get into all that right now.) Has anyone else had an experience like that, where they accept someone else's evaluation of their sexuality, even if they think it's actually wrong? Or just put too much stock into what other people say?
I feel like everyone has experienced this to some degree at one point or another. We are an opinionated society. All throughout our lives people are going to tell us what they think, whether or not we actually give a flip. People will even do it by accident. They will tell you to get a date, and they will subconsciously use an opposite gendered pronoun because that is what we were all taught growing up. Even if you have the most supportive open parents ever because the world is very firmly set in its ways. We see people trying to change something, but we also see the people who believe that it should stay the same. We have been programmed to think that we can tell somebody's entire life by the color of their hair, but we can't. We can't all be Sherlock Holmes, because someone has to be John Watson. Just don't let the bigots get you down, ok? COURAGE
Kind of. When I was 17, a youth mental health worker basically told me that getting laid would solve my problems. I guess she didn't know my life story and probably thought I was scared of sex. I spent a long time feeling that something was wrong with me and that I'm supposed to enjoy what is considered normal sex. To some extent, I still feel that way, but I've found more peace by accepting it, as opposed to fighting it. Just because somebody says something about us, doesn't mean it's true. I'm glad you're aware that professionals are only human as well. I probably make subconscious opinions about people because of their jobs/clothes/hobbies/etc, but I try to remember that I don't know their life story.
When we talk to people, we tend to put them on a scale in comparison to us. During the conversation, we establish (often falsely) if they "weigh" more than us or not. Whether they have more experience, are older, wiser, etc... By giving more weight to their opinion we inevitably give them the power to influence us, by what they say and do. Often, the easiest way to disregard someone's opinion is to realize that they don't weigh that much, they are not above us, and there is no power to their words. Their opinion is just that, their own opinion. Even in the case of professionals, there always exists the possibility of personal feelings creeping in, influencing them in their decisions. Basically what i'm trying to say is... You already have established that this person is unprofessional. There is no need to still consider their opinion as valid.
