Hello! So I've been stuggling with thinking im gay for quiet a while now. At least 4 years or so. I am 27 years old, male, and in a 1 year long relationship with a girl. So I don't know was it really the right thing to tell her im gay? Today it doesn't feel that way. It feels like I should get a girl, feels like thats what I want. I could never imagine being in love with a man, or doing things with a man. The reason why I think Im gay are pretty many but I think the main reason is when I look at pictures of nude men and theire genitalia I seem to get very aroused, even more then I ever was when having sex with a girl. And I do pretty often have problems getting aroused with my girlfriend, unless we wait for a few days after I had my latest orgasm. I've never been in love with a man from what I can tell consiously, only girls.. And still feel like I want only girls. It just feels so unreal that I would now go after a man, it doesn't feel like it's what I want to do. When Im out and about, all I do is check out girls and long to be in love with them, I don't really know how much it is sexual, but I get abit into it when I see a great ass or some other hot part of a girl, just don't know if it comes as natural as when I look at a naked men, where it seems to happen just naturally. Is it maybe me seeking affirmation when checking out girls? I don't know... Any thoughts? Thanks!
I feel for you, man... I've got 2 ideas: 1) You could be gay, but in denial due to convincing yourself you were straight - this is sort of how I felt at first (except I hadn't gone as far as you due to my age). 2) You could be bisexual (or bi-curious, but considering your description, that sounds quite unlikely). To be honest, that sounds perfect for you, because it combines what arouses you most and what you feel your romantic orientation is. I hope this has helped you, and best wishes for the future! - Leo
You're basing your conclusion on pictures. This is not how you determine your orientation. Looking at pictures of nude men is like watching gay porn and using that to say you're gay. That is the biggest mistake that I've made. I know I'm straight because all my life over had feelings for girls and I always saw guys as friends, and nothing more. Reasons for being aroused off same sex images/videos are an admission of their physique, the energy they present as the ideal being of a guy, etc. There's a lot more to consider when people identify add gay. If you are unable to develop feelings for guys but are aroused by images of them, that could be a sign of admiration. This is true for my case. What I suggest is not to be so fixated on "am I gay", but be open too different possibilities. When you are open to others things you realize a kitty more about yourself. But in the end, I conclude that if you don't have any feelings for guys, it is unlikely that you are gay. However there could be a possibility that you are denying your feelings, but it doesn't sound like that from your post. Then again only you would know.
