Im an 18 year old guy and I'm confused. When I was eleven I saw two gay guys in my school and I asked myself what if I am gay? Ever since then I've had a fear of being gay. I diagnosed myself with HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) its an obsession about your sexuality. As far back as grade 1, I remember having crushes on girls. Could i be gay or bi? is sexuality fluid or fixed? are gay people born gay? I dunno im really confused for the past Six months ive had this obsession and its completely taken over me im depressed. I broke up with my girlfriend that I went out with for 6 months because i didnt like her, I liked another girl for 4 years and i completely obsessed with her but i was too afraid to tell her that i Like her, I look very feminine and sometimes when i watch straight porn i put myself in the position of the girl. I've tried watching gay porn but i was disgusted ( no offence... ) and wasnt aroused. Help guys im really depressed and confused
Re: Confused Help Hi, and welcome to EC. First, about OCD (and it is OCD, not HOCD)... OCD is characterized by constant intrusive, obsessive thoughts, and almost always those thoughts are not about a single topic such as sexual orientation. It would be about multiple topics. There's no credible evidence for OCD that focuses on a single thing, so therefore, there's no "HOCD" any more than there is "locking doors OCD" or "standing on cracks OCD" or "flipping light switches OCD." In your case, it does sound like the thoughts are intrusive and obsessive, so my question is... where else do you see this manifesting? Do you also have compulsive behaviors, such as repeated hand washing or a need to overly organize and structure things? Do you have other intrusive thoughts? From what you've described above, it doesn't sound, at flrst glance, like there's any basis for a concern that you might be gay; your masturbation fantasies are about women, and it is women that you seem attracted to. Both of those (which are pretty reliable indicators) point to you being heterosexual. So if the obsessive thoughts are continuing, then you may want to see a therapist to talk about the OCD issues and get some help with that. There's a biochemical underpinning to OCD, and it can be addressed effectively with therapy over time, but if it is really disrupting your life, then there are medications that can help control the feelings in the short term.
Well I went to the psychiatrist and he didn't diagnose me with OCD. though i do get extremely obsessive over simple things that are irrelevant. I also have to ask you something with you being gay, were you born gay? how do you know you are gay, what does it feel like? Is sexuality fluid? and I also have imagined myself as the passive position in straight porn subconciously now that i think about it, could i be gay or bi??
I thought I had HOCD at first but my psychologist says that I may not have it. I believe that people are born with a set orientation. I consider myself a straight guy. I know that I'll have a much happier life with a woman than a man, so why would I want to marry a man? My thoughts/fantasies have been affected my excessive porn usage to the point where I've been desensitized to it. They mainly link back to the porn that I watch so I always confuse myself. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, so that's where my constant doubts and "always on the look out" come from. Only way I know that I am straight is because of a girl that I have a crush on. I've had a crush on her for 6 years now, and recently Ive told her how I've felt. It feels great knowing that she feels the same way about me, and I think she's very cute. Sexuality can be fluid as well. Things can change over time, and when you become open to change it won't affect you as much. you could be open minded as well, so as you can see there's a lot of things to consider, more in fact because there's a lot more that I haven't mentioned.
I have OCD. My psychiatrist never officially diagnosed me with OCD either but he agrees that I have obsessive intrusive thoughts and treats me for that. Of course I can't say that you have OCD but if you really feel you are having intrusive thoughts about things that are irrelevant and they're bothering you a lot it's worth bringing it up again with that professional or another one.
