Hello, So to start this off, i have always identified myself as straight since I was a kid. I never even questioned this until I was 19. I have watched pornography since I was about 13-14 years old, and it has always been straight porn, either real life or hentai. Though at some point in my life, I started watching futanari porn. Not frequently at all, just occasionally, and I would never give it a second thought really. However, when I was 19, I had a random thought, "hey? does watching futa make me gay?". Ever since I asked that one questions, I have been haunted by this looming insecurity and fear that I might be. I have continued watching porn, and it seems like now futa has become the only type of hentai I watch ( I still watch just regular straight porn when it comes to real people though). I think the fear really is that if I was gay, my entire life, family and friends would be over and gone. But besides the futanari, I have never had gay tendencies. I've always liked girls, get nervous around the ones I like, and I don't really look at guys in a sense of 'I would like to be with this person on a different level'. I dorm with 3 other guys right now in college, without the slightest problem, I've been in hotel rooms where I had to share a bed with another male and I have done so without a problem or an erection. When I was younger, I used to have wet dreams of strictly girls, no boys ever. Heck, I've even been in those communal showers at the YMCA without a problem. I've been battling with this problem for at least a year now, continually asking myself, "hey, would I ever kiss this guy? or be in a romantic situation with this guy?" and then checking to see if i get an erection. I also purposefully imagine gay scenarios to see if I get an erection. I have sort of accepted the fact that either: A) I've been gay my entire life and just never noticed it until I was 19 or B) I am bisexual with a slight attraction to males C) I'm straight, and just have a fetish for futa I'm more inclined to think B) or C) because although I watch futanari porn, I don't watch gay porn. any help or advice would be so appreciated, I really need to get on with my life and I can't let this anxiety and fear control me anymore.
First off, welcome to EC. I started porn at 12, so I know where you're coming from. I still watch it today and honestly it fucking ruined my life. Just stop watching porn. Why? I know I'm addicted to porn, and its effects are no different than an alcoholic or smoker. They know that it's not good for them yet they keep doing it. It's a hard habit to cut. So with that said, porn should not be used as a way to determine your orientation. Been there, done that. I've actually acted out my fantasies with an older man near my area and I didn't like it. Using porn while you're already confused only puts yourself in a bad position in relationships, and maybe much worse. Proves that fantasy =/= reality. If you cannot recall any feelings for any guys then it is unlikely you are gay. I know I'm straight because I've never had feelings for guys and never sought relationships with them, let alone considered it, until this year. Try cutting the porn for at least a week, and things will clear up. Just remember that porn was never meant to determine your orientation. It's just people having sex. That shit doesn't happen in reality.
Well put Jax12. I am also struggling with the confusion that comes from porn addiction, but mine is the opposite; I know I'm gay and I'm afraid to be straight. Like Jax said, porn is not an indicator of sexuality. I have talked to lesbians on this forum that only watch gay male porn, and some gay guys only watch straight porn. Futanari doesn't make you gay. They look and act like women, but they just happen to have penises. Unless you are attracted to men's bodies, you aren't gay. Being gay is about a lot more than just liking dick. Long story short, you're straight but you just have a fetish for futas.
Yes I know where you're coming from. I enjoy gay porn but don't really 'get' straight porn. Or at least I think I don't. I'm not exactly addicted to porn, but I'm still really confused. I'm afraid to be straight/heteroflexible, even though something in me says that I'm not gay and that I'm straight in reality. I started a thread about it. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua...am-i-pretending-gay-i-straight-all-along.html
