I will be hooked on girls for a while, and I will be super comfortable. But then I start thinking about guys, and I think "Hey, I wouldn´t mind a relationship w a guy!", and I start thinking about sex w a guy, and I freak myself out. I have to remind myself that this is what bisexuality is: attraction to both sides of the gender binary, (and some off that binary). I have to convince myself that this is okay, because our society is so hard-set on this sexuality binary that I have to reassure myself that it is okay not to fit. I hate it. I hate it so much. I want to have sex with women, and I don´t know where I stand on relationships with em. We´ll find out soon. I think I wouldn´t mind it. I wouldn´t mind a relationship w guy, but I don´t think I would enjoy the sex as much, maybe. Hell. :tears: :tantrum:
This is actually a really good description of what's been running through my mind all day. (Well, I have had sex with guys, but basically...) It's pretty sad that despite everything people say about sexuality being fluid people still end up feeling like they ought to be picking one or the other and sticking to it.
It's not just that they end up feeling that way...it's that society tells us we *have* to (or *ought* to) be that way. We're made (or told) to feel weak or inferior for feeling otherwise...like we're just not strong enough to commit to one. If someone told gay people on here that they're just not strong enough to stick in a hetero relationship, people would freak. It's not a choice to feel this way. Nor is it weakness. Nor is it morally wrong or inferior to refuse to choose, and to keep an open mind.
I hope it didn't sound like I was saying that feeling one has to choose reflects badly on the person who feels that way. I meant that it's sad that society tries to force that feeling on people, but you said it a lot better than I did.
I used to/still feel this way for some odd reason especially since I prefer to be with women. I've been with my current partner on/off for many years and throughout those years, my sexuality has shifted multiple times, so I know how annoying it is. I will say that during my off times when I was technically single I'd date only women. However, those relationships didn't last very long, which made me question my feelings even more. It's just so frustrating because I don't think that I could ever be with just one person. Men bring something different to the table as do women. And it just so happens that I prefer the things that women have to offer. Also, because what I get from them is much more appealing/satisfying.
Oh, no, no. My comment contained no criticism of your post. I was just adding a perspective on where that feeling of having to choose originates, and denying the validity of that source.
