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I changed my label to gay =]

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Quem, Dec 16, 2014.

  1. Quem

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    Hey everyone!! :icon_bigg

    Those who know me, know I always identified as bisexual. With the aid of EC (and some members in special) I found out that I was bisexual (preference male) and very likely demisexual (only feeling attraction in real life once I get to know someone very well). I never felt attraction in real life, not because I was surpressing it (because I'm pretty sure I wasn't), but it was not there. I thought I could end up with anyone, which was (back then) true, and I still don't think it was wrong for me to say that.

    However, I'm deeply in love with my boyfriend, and we will spend our lives together. I realise that I am happy that he is a guy. Like, if he would've been a girl, I would probably have been less happy. I am definitely attracted to him, a lot. And I am glad that he is a guy, so that really made me wonder. So now I don't see any reason in calling myself bisexual, when I'm not attracted to both sexes, but only to one.

    Yes, I'm probably very open-minded, but I feel it makes more sense to call me gay (who has been open-minded) then to call myself bisexual. :icon_bigg

    I definitely want to thank my amazing boyfriend, Kabuki, for his support. :kiss: I feel more at ease now, so I think this has been the right decision. If not, time will tell. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I don't know if any of you have been through something similar, let me know!! :icon_bigg
     
  2. White Knight

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    Gratz.

    I never realized you had that much inner struggle. Happy for you and Kabuki you cleared that up so you can live something you enjoy to the fullest.
     
  3. Quem

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    Thank you White Knight! :icon_bigg I was comfortable with being bisexual, but a few things bothered me. For me, the lack of attraction in real life made it very complicated. I had no way to know completely. But I am attracted to a guy now, and I've never been attracted to a girl. =) It definitely feels better to call myself gay, I'm glad I know now. :icon_bigg
     
  4. OnTheHighway

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    Great progression!
     
  5. bicomplicated

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    Well, to me it doesn't matter what someone calls themself. As long as you are happy, that is what matters! And if you feel labeling yourself as gay fits you best, that is what you should do. :slight_smile: And I am happy for you and your boyfriend!
     
  6. BradThePug

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    As long as you are happy that is all that matters. I have gone through so many different identities now, but all of those shifts have left me where I am now, so I wouldn't change that.
     
  7. greatwhale

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    Congratulations! This qualifies you for our end-of-year promotion for those who transition from bi to gay: a free toaster! :grin:

    also applicable to those who prefer to remain bi
     
  8. V777

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    Hey Quem.

    Congrats for finding it out. By the way, you're out to everyone now too. That's great. You should be so proud of yourself.

    (*hug*)
     
  9. EpicConfusion

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    Yay Quem and Kabuki :slight_smile:
     
  10. SemiCharmedLife

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    Congrats! I went through the same thing...it feels good to finally know and accept
     
  11. GreyRose

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    Congrats!

    Happened to me as well! :3

    I feel so much better now that I kind of "sync" with my identity.
     
  12. stocking

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    Wowthat's deep, I had the same struggle too
     
  13. Steele

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    I'm glad you found what works best for you! I think it's great that you're keeping an open mind and identifying as what feels right for you. And I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck in the future.
     
  14. shinji

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    Quemmy, I'm so happy for you and Buki! ☆*・゜゚・*\(^O^)/*・゜゚・*☆

    Tell Buki "hi" from me! And hope stuff works out as planned!

    ...oh, also that label thing. Glad you've got that sorted out.
     
  15. Kabuki

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    I'm very glad you made this decision. :kiss: You told me your concerns about the label you were using, we talked about it, and you decided.

    I'm just happy that you did this, for yourself, to be happy with what you label as to others. You know, and we joked, that you could even call yourself straight if you wanted, but that doesn't change who you are, what we have, and what you feel. If calling yourself gay is what feels right, then by all means use it. Gay, bisexual, pansexual, or any other label in existence, will never be enough to cover our whole identity. (*hug*) If in the future, it doesn't fit you, we'll work on it to what feels right to you. :grin:

    PS: By the way, greatwhale, I love toasted bread, so give him the reward!! :lol: :thumbsup:
     
  16. YuriBunny

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    Congrats on figuring yourself out~! ^.^
     
  17. Quem

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    Thanks everyone for your nice words!! (*hug*)

    I agree that the label doesn't matter actually, but it feels so much better! I'm glad you are all so supportive! :icon_bigg (*hug*) And it's good to know I'm not the only one who has been through this. =]

    V777, I came out to everyone, by announcing my relationship with Kabuki on Facebook. :icon_bigg Thanks for your nice words!!

    And I also want to thank everyone for the best wishes to Kabuki and me! (*hug*) You all are the best! :icon_bigg
     
  18. PatrickUK

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    I think Quem deserves a coffee maker too. :grin:

    Like so many of us, you have been on a personal journey Quem, and now (hopefully) you have reached your destination. :thumbsup:
     
  19. greatwhale

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    Heck, just for you, I'll throw in some of my home-made bread! :icon_wink
     
  20. Quem

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    Haha, you know me well Patrick!! :lol: Thank you for your beautiful words, I appreciate that a lot! (*hug*)

    Thanks greatwhale for the toaster! I do think Kabuki has to use it, I sometimes let the bread burn.. :lol: