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Needing Advice

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by KLea, Dec 16, 2014.

  1. KLea

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2014
    Messages:
    1
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    Location:
    Iowa
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I am a 23 year old female who has been "straight". When I was 15 or 16 I started thinking women were sexy and watching female/female porn but I never acted upon it. When I was 21 I went out to the bar and a girl hit on me for the first time really. I enjoyed it and we actually exchanged numbers. We talked for a few months and messed around a bit but nothing serious. She changed and it ended and I let the idea pass me by. Now at 23 I have really started to question it again. I date men and I am very sexual with men but I always feel like something is missing. I started talking to a girl again and went on my first actual date with a women. I enjoyed myself a lot, even showed a few signs of PDA and didn't think anything of it. Now today the day after all I can think about is what my family and friends would think, how many people Id lose and how I even know what I am. Just would like some perspective. I know nobody can tell me what my sexual orientation is, only myself. But if anyone went through this process just some insight would be helpful. I feel there has to be something to it, if I keep coming back to it. Thanks in advance :slight_smile:
     
  2. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    Have you taken any of the Kinsey scale tests? you can find several versions of it on the internet, and that can help you get some empirical feedback. But from what you describe, you definitely don't sound like you are solidly straight. you may be bi, or a bit more toward lesbian than bi. or you might even be lesbian but afraid to acknowledge it because of all your fears of how family and friends would react. that last category is where I spent most of my life (well, gay not lesbian!). and it was an awful, lonely, miserable place to be and resulted in me being in a long-term very unhappy marriage. I hope that you can sort it out sooner than I did. Your experiences with men sounds like they were pretty mediocre. Try more experiences with women, and if you really have that feeling of being at home, that's where you belong. Now as far as how to deal with people's reactions, well you are definitely in the right place here at EC for people to share lots of positive experiences that will give you hope and boost your courage!