Hey, or however you do this... So, as you might see, I'm new here. :icon_redf So, I think I might be... ugh... not straight/lesbian/bi??? I'll give you some background info... I'm 15, a girl and I (think I) have a crush on my friend, who is a girl... I've known her for about 4 years, and because of school, classes switch every year, and last school year, I was in class with her. I knew her, because I have a group of friends, we are with 8 in total, so I knew her, but not really, you know? But all our classes were the same. I started to really like her, you know, as a friend and we became pretty close. We both bike to school, and I occasionally bike with her, just because it's so much fun and we're talking. But when I bike with her, I bike waaay further than I have to, which means I have to bike 15/20 minutes back to my home... *this maybe should've alarmed me* But this year, we still have the same classes, which means I'm around her all the time. We both love Youtube, watching movies, talking in general and we have the same music taste. Just a few weeks ago (like 7 weeks ago, maybe earlier) I realized I might like her as more than a friend. Because we both have a few hours, to wait for our next lesson, and we like the same music, we listen music together, but I know she always sits close to people, but then she sat like really close to me, her leg and shoulder completely resting against me, and I couldn't concentrate, and I felt warm and fluttery. I was looking forward to those hours with her, and I kind of realized I might have a crush on her... But recently I found myself feeling kind of jealous when she was talking to another girl and it was just so weird :icon_sad: And I caught myself (day)dreaming about her This made me actually really think, and now I realize I've kind of had little mini crushes on female friends...? And I've always noticed how girls looked, also when I was younger (like 10?) but I also like boys, and I'm confused... But this thin line between wanting to be like someone and liking someone is difficult. I'm pretty sure the friend whom I have a crush on is straight, but I do know she hasn't had an actual boyfriend, but most of my friends haven't... plus that means nothing, right? we're 15/16... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh, I would really like to say something to someone, but I just don't want to tell my parents, because they're just suspicions, and I'm not sure, and the friend whom I have a crush on is my closest friend :dry: my other friends are great, but I just don't know, and I've been thinking about this for such a short time, plus I think I don't want to tell 'the crush' I have a crush on her, so I wouldn't want to say something to another friend, because they're really close with her aswell, so I'm unsure what to do...
First, try to spend more time with her if you can. Make her consider you her best friend. Try to get her comfortable enough with you so you can ask her if she has ever had thoughts about girls too. Make her know that you are okay with it, because if she actually does, she will probably reject it due to the need to appear normal. That is, only if she really is. Everyone thinks about same-sex relationships at some point, and if she ever does, be very supportive of it. Eventually drop hints here and there if she is seemingly okay with having a relationships with a girl, and maybe she will catch on! I hope this helps.
@luvlend thank you!! We are really close, but a mutual friend from our group, is her best friend for like 10 years... We've once kinda talked about it, but more like: she told me that this dude she knew has a friend, who is gay, told another friend he was gay, and that the friend didn't want to be friends anymore, and she thought it was just plainly stupid, like me (and hopefully everybody) But how can you drop subtle hints? Like, how do you do that????
I definitely know the feeling of not being sure whether I like a friend romantically, or want to be like her. Sometimes it fades in and out and changes depending on the day. Very frustrating. I also know the feeling of suddenly remembering times when you were younger and had "lesbian-ish" thoughts, and then you try to use that in questioning yourself. I don't know if or how you would tell your friend outright that you like her, I certainly would not have done that with the friend of mine I had a crush on. But as for subtle hints, what I tend to do are things like mentioning girls' attractiveness more than boys'. And when talking about possible future relationships, I don't say "boyfriend" or "husband," I make it more ambiguous or maybe say "future girlfriend." I don't know whether you would do that, if you don't know how your friends would react, and if you do definitely like boys, you may not want to act like you are uninterested in them (that's a good hint that you're not straight, but may be unhelpful if you still like boys). For me, as I let time pass and became both more and less confused, I found my feelings fading away for the girl I liked. Partly because she had a boyfriend, partly maybe because I had decided that I shouldn't like her. So maybe time will sort things out, certainly don't rush into telling anyone.. Hopefully some of what I am saying is understandable, better yet helpful..
@poison53sumac what you're saying is understandable and helpful, thank you The problem is that I am just really confused and don't even know if I like boys or girls or both... I defenitely could try out pointing out how attrictive girls are.
