I've been trying to understand attraction better, but am struggling with it a bit. Here are a few of my questions: What does primary attraction feel like? Is it like looking at someone and getting aroused? Looking at them and thinking "I want to sleep with them"? Is it just where your eyes wander when you're not paying attention? Any help appreciated! I seem to get really confused about this.
I'd say it's a little bit of the first two, but more of the third. I find once I got over what society wanted and on what I wanted it's: when an attractive member of the gender I like walks by do I turn my Head to watch them p), what gender can I picture spending my life with romantically? Would I be happy in a relationship with a male? Female? One thing that threw me off is admiring someones beauty and being sexually attracted to them. Hopefully you'll get better answers as more people reply
yeah, all of that. one place where I really notice it is when I'm looking at erotic pictures. I'm not talking about porn, just photos of guys with no shirt, artistic nudes, and hot pictures of women. I might notice the women, but I have no physical reaction. I look at the beefcake guys, and OMG all of the sudden I notice that I'm getting an erection. so, that is an indicator of me of how my brain is wired
What gender do you, primarily, have crushes on? Feel attracted to? Acknowledge their attractiveness? Which gender do you fantasize about? That can help determine the gender that you are predominantly attracted to, if that's what you're asking.
Well, I've had crushes on girls after knowing them for a while and becoming close emotionally, and I know I think they look better (more attractive?) to me than guys, but I don't tend to think "I want to sleep with you" when I see them. I can't really tell how I feel looking at photos or people. I'd rather look at girls than guys, but I don't think I get aroused. Is that still sexual attraction then? I definitely have a libido, but trying to fantasize about people doesn't do anything. It's just gross to me when I try to picture anyone. (and I still look away when people kiss on TV). I've been wondering if I'll start feeling attraction more as I transition, or if I feel it now but don't recognize it? Or if I'll have some kind of epiphany moment of attraction? Is it like an "I want to sleep with this person" epiphany?
I think that varies. not everybody immediately jumps to the "I want to sleep with them" mode. sometimes, it's just, "they're nice, I would like to get to know them"
You might need more time to become comfortable with your attraction, that's what happened with me. I still feel uncomfortable thinking sexual thoughts about people I see, even if I am attracted to them.
I don't feel primary sexual attraction; but basically It's supposed to be looking at someone and thinking they are attractive right away. Getting aroused, fantasizing about them, etc
Thanks everyone! Time will tell for me I guess. I keep wondering if I'm missing something obvious there, but I've always been on the naïve side of life. What does attraction feel like in your body? In your mind?
This is a great question! I hope a pro chimes in! Until then... from my earliest memories I was more physically attracted to "boyish" girls and guys. I was attracted to some feminine girls but it was along the lines of "oh, shes cute, O.K. I can do that... hm? boobies. OK. Am I doing this right?" Where as with men its along the lines of... "OMG, yes! that chest, those arms, that speedo, I wanna kiss that and this and I hope he's into this and who cares if I'm doing this right... practice makes perfect!" I always felt that as I found about 70 percent of the women I saw attractive and only about 20 percent of men, it must mean I'm Bi and primarily into women. It has really only been the last few years that I've dumped the percentages concept and admitted my primary physical attraction is towards men. In HS I had crushes on maybe 3 girls the entire time. During that time, although I didn't consider them crushes, there were several dozen guys I could not take my eyes off and really wanted to be around! I realize that the concept of "primary attraction" is more complex but for me this is how it works. Also, more related to sex drive than attraction, I'm more aggressive (read horny) when my testosterone is higher! T I'm sure does this for most all people. Maybe some people supplementing with T can chime in and let you know if their "attraction" to others increases as their T goes up. (&&&) ---------- Post added 18th Dec 2014 at 09:23 PM ---------- Butterflies!
