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Trying to see through

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by liebevoll, Dec 20, 2014.

  1. liebevoll

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    Hey folks, so here's a question that i just cant answer, so am I really gay or bi?? Well now to begin with I was convinced by someone whom I came out to, that I feel i am gay probably because i am nervous to do "it" with a woman as I was bullied through school for being "less of a man". Well its possible, but i am extremely comfortable with girls and get teased with a lot of them and it doesn't make me feel any sort of aversion. Rather i would say i like it when i get attention from them and when i am called a "womaniser". But in these 20 years of my life i have had not a single physical reaction to a girl or to naked women. I cant fantasize women n just can't think of enjoying the act being an "active" partner. But when it comes to guys , i just cant stop drooling over every other guy, my wet dreams are with them n it just feels right to b with a guy. Now am i suppressing my feelings towards girls because i am subconsciously thinking i cant please them or are these feelings of pseudo happiness that i get when m teased with girls a result of the heternormative world and my never dying subconscious need to b "manly" enough to b a womanizer. Frankly i do see when a beautiful girl walks in even though i wouldn't be the first to notice and the noticing would b restricted to just looking at the face n saying wow what beautiful skin or nice features or hair to die for nothing more sexual n never a physical reaction! Its really confusing!! Help !! Am I gay or bi?
     
  2. aboutface

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    Sounds pretty conclusive. I don't think you're bi.

    You can suppress thoughts and feelings some of the time, but I don't think you can suppress physical reactions all of the time, at least I haven't heard of it. If you've never have one towards a woman, I'd say you are pretty firmly gay.
     
  3. lilrocket

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    It does sound like you are gay. Only you can know for sure, but saying that you've never been physically aroused by a woman.. but you have by men.. seems conclusive and you shouldn't be doubting it
     
  4. womaninamber

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    I obviously can't tell anyone what their orientation is, but it sounds like you mostly started doubting it because this other person was doubting.

    I don't see any reason to believe you're not gay. This other person doesn't sound very helpful or insightful in the least to me.