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Maybe I'm just bisexual leaning more towards gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by rich96, Dec 20, 2014.

  1. rich96

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    I don't have anyone to go to about this that'll not judge me or understand me, so I thank all of you that respond and give feedback.

    When I was in fay care(around 5 or 6), a boy on the bus had played with my private area and I didnt do anything (didnt know what was going on), didnt tell my parents because I didn't know how they would react. I liked girls since that time on forward.

    In middle school around 14, I found transsexual porn and gay porn and watched that for a short time, replacing the straight/lesbian porn I would watch, still liked girls. I met a local guy on facebook who was obviously gay and we talked for some time, even took photos for each other (me and girls occasionly shared photos as well), I remember I took a back shot and sent it to him and I still become puzzled by that today. He began calling me "baby" and stuff and I was uncomfortable with that, and everything, so eventually I blocked him and none of that phased me afterwards.

    I had a couple girfriends since, when i had sex with my 9th-10 grade girlfriend, it was great up until after some time I started not getting that erect, she just wasn't turning me on and that did creep me out. I even noticed when I watched porn last year, I was more focused on the males which were arousing me. I started wondering if I was gay because of that and plus I gained an interest in looking at women fashion.

    One time at the dentist, I was getting a hard on while the dentist (who was gay) was doing my teeth and breathing near my ear as I lied down. I tried keeping down as long as I could by thinking of girls, seeing as thoughts of girls no longer turned me on as much by then. I got in the car feeling naked and abused, now every time I panic when I have to go to the dentist because of my fear of that happening again.

    Women are beautiful to me, I'm drawn to them idefinately, but doesn't give me the same excitement and pleasure a naked guy with a ripped body and nice boner would now at 18. Am I just bisexual but leaning towards gay? because I recalled someone saying "who would you rather hold hands with?" and that's an esay answer for me, a girl without a doubt, but sexually? gay men do the trick of getting me up.
     
  2. Shy95

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    Hi Rich96! It seems to me you could possibly be bisexual. Bisexual people don't tend to like men and women equally, sometimes it's in different ways too. For example, I am bisexual and like women romantically and sexually, but tend to only like men sexually and in a friendly way. It's a good idea to make some sort of list and see what you like about men and what you want from them, and another list for women. This may give you some insight. Hope this helps!
     
  3. rich96

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    Thank you a lot, especially for being the only one to say something. I don't want anything from men, I guess what I like in them is their manhood, but visually speaking, it just gives me a better connection it seems. As far as women, I want love, affection, a relationship. Though I can't seem to meet any like minded girls, so I've been alone for about 2 years now.
     
  4. GreyRose

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    The category of bisexual (similar to other sexualities, of course) has SO, so many different shades for SO many different people out there. I agree that you're under this general "label" of bisexual, as you like both ladies and gents but in different ways. Same thing for me, but I like both genders in even more different ways when compared to you, or any bisexual for that matter.

    Good luck on all of this!
     
  5. rich96

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    If you don't mind me asking, what's your orientation like? since you said its more different than mines. I generally find all of this stuff interesting because so many people either say they're straight or gay while only girls claim bisexuality, but yet I and other males happen to experience a multitude of feelings that are just too confusing to the point it's unwanted. It's amazing how at one point all I liked was women (still do only like them) but now Im able to be sexually attracted to any gender but not necessarily wanting to have sex with any gender but women or a passable transsexual if I ever met one. I feel that the closet "label" for me would be Omnisexual, but I have no Idea how I would be able to date like that, it puzzles me.
     
  6. Shy95

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    GreyRose is right when they say there are many shades of bisexuality. You've maybe come across terms like biromantic and homoromantic, as well as terms like homosexual and bisexual. You can mix and match these a lot to suit you, so there's no end to what people can be! Take into account that everyone has their own little quirks, and it's even more varied! And to think many people just think there's straight, bisexual and gay! :lol: For example, I could be more fully explained as a homoromantic bisexual, as I like women only romantically, but men and women sexually. Also, I don't think that you being interested in women's fashion is an indicator of your sexuality, as it's based on stereotypes. I was the same, I tick a lot of the "stereotypical lesbian" boxes and thought this was proof that I was gay! But all you really need to focus on is your sexual and romantic feelings :slight_smile:
     
  7. Damien

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    I find it interesting that our own body can send us a definite and strong signal, but we then so often doubt it, and begin pondering and making possible excuses as to why it happened. But if we get turned on by the opposite sex, we don't question it like this, we just accept it: "of course I get aroused by women, that's just natural". So when we get aroused by a guy, it must be "just natural" as well. What works for one, also works for the other. As for feeling sexual about guys, but not wanting to hold a guy's hand, well I was like that only just this year. I'm not saying that will change for you, but in my case there was a gradual 'loosening up' of what I felt like doing:

    Initially: I would like to have sex with a guy, but not kiss him.

    A bit further down the track: I would like to have sex with a guy, and kiss him deeply and passionately.

    More recently: I would like to have a close friendship with a guy, in which we have sex, deep and passionate kissing, intimacy, even romance (holding hands, etc included).

    Once again I'm not saying this will happen for you, just pointing out that it can, for some. In my case, I just had to overcome a deeply ingrained notion that 'sex can be between anyone, but romance is only between a man and a woman'. I no longer agree with or feel that way.
     
    #7 Damien, Dec 21, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2014
  8. rich96

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    I would be a Heteromantic Ominsexual then? Only having romantic feelings towards women, sexually attracted to any gender under certain circumstances, but only prefer sex with with women, even though I haven't had sex in over 2 years, I don't really know how my performance with women would be currently. Hmph, let me try telling that to the next girl I meet (if any, there aren't even any girls around me that are my type, especially intellectually). And yeah that's what I thought! society is too hung up on these things, I just noticed how I liked looking at the models and what they were wearing, even thought of being a designer, drawing out ideas and having them made. Seeing women and people posing in mags wearing clothes that came from my ideas seemed pretty cool.
    In that case I should focus on girls then, only if I could meet some like minded ones for ONCE that shared a lot in common with me. I don't know how in the world that's ever going to happen.

    Thank you though, I don't have to feel like a loner with this anymore ^_^
     
  9. GreyRose

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    Oh, goodness.. MY orientation?

    Well, that can be all spastic sometimes, but usually...

    Ladies: Physically? Beautiful. The shape of the female body is far more pleasing to me when compared to a man's natural shape. Faces? Oh my. The way women's faces just ARE is so, well, amazing~ Sexually? Only time may tell on that one (muahmuahmuah) *cue ominous music* Emotionally? This kind of bond is WAY easier to form for me with women than with men. It feels more... natural. I feel more comfortable around ladies as well.

    Men: Physically? I dunno. The way a male body is shaped, laid out, whatever, just isn't very appealing to me. Just... meh. Faces? I can totally appreciate an attractive face on a man every once in awhile, but now that I think about it, I like more feminine faces on guys.. Hm. Sexually? NO. NO. NOOOOO. *cough* No. Emotionally? I can occasionally form strong-ish emotional connections to calmer, nicer guys. A lot of my friends are male, actually. Straight ladies can be mean sometimes D:

    So.. That's a quick version, I guess. I'm glad you feel less alone on this whole thing now. BUT... don't let labels intimidate you; in fact, most of the time I tell people I'm Annasexual (my name's Anna, if you couldn't guess) when asked about my sexuality.

    *insert witty closing statement here*