To love a person, not a gender

Sometimes you can't help who you fall for. I have heard of people who have only turned 'gay' for just one member of the same sex, and that's okay. I see things like that as forms of self-experimentation, so I wouldn't necessarily categorize yourself just yet. You say you see yourself marrying her, but you're only 19. People can go through all sorts of stages throughout their whole life, especially when it comes to not knowing who they are and thoughts like that can occur often.

I can't say I've been in your position because I haven't, however, who you fall for cannot be helped and gender should be irrelevant. You will discover who you are eventually, but for now just keep at it. Time will tell, and you can only learn from the past.

 

You're perfectly fine. The judgement I gave was solely based on the fact that you said you don't see an attraction in any other girl. That's not to say that this is a phase. However when it comes to bisexuality, this doesn't just mean that you have an equal attraction to both genders, as you can be bisexual but have a stronger lean towards women, or vice versa. Only you can decide whether or not you want to label yourself, I mean..is there really a need?

You can love whoever you want, be free with it! If you love a woman, you love a woman. If you love a man? You love a man. Personally, I don't think you're bisexual..or gay for that matter. I just think you're open to experimentation, and that all comes with trying to figure out exactly who you are - so long as you are happy with yourself!

 

I think it's likely almost everyone has "exception." This is my theory, at least. Now, these exceptions are extremely few and most people will probably never meet that person, but I think every person could potentially have that person they fall in love with, despite their sexual orientation.

Personally, I am very attracted to girls and pretty much completely disinterested in guys. I'm currently dating and completely in love with a boy, though. Of course, it's harder in physical aspects and I don't know if it can truly work long-term, but I do know that, at the very least, on an emotional level, I am very much in love with him. If we broke up, I would come out as a lesbian and not date a guy again, I imagine. (Only a few people know I consider myself a lesbian rather than straight or bisexual, because it just seems to complicated when I'm with a guy.)

tl;dr yes, I definitely believe in exceptions, though I believe they are very rare and may be hard. If you are happy and into her, enjoy it and don't over-think it

 

The fact that you're having these thoughts show that you're mature. It's understandable that you're concerned about your sexual orientation. From the looks of it, you seem to have attraction to both men and women. But why is it such a big deal? Straight, bisexual, lesbian... what does it matter? I don't see that as the issue here. The problem you're facing is, what ifs... what if things don't work out? Of course, it would suck, but that's just life. And since you think she's the only girl you've ever liked, you think the next person would be guy? Maybe so. But what if you start a relationship with this guy and after a few years, you meet another girl, and you end up having an attraction to her. After all, it's in your nature. You could be bisexual, you could be straight. Only time will tell. Follow your feelings until you find out.

Why are there exceptions? Some people tend to believe this but I find it hard to understand.

Sexual orientation is just a definition to me, not a 'label', as some people call it. It's like saying you're Caucasian, or Asian, or whatnot. I can't say I'm Asian if I'm actually Caucasian.

Why do people try to fit into the lesbian box? What's wrong with being bisexual? To be honest, I used to misunderstand it myself, but I like bisexuals and I would gladly date them.

 

I agree I believe there are such thing as exceptions. I'm straight, love women, attracted to women, and have no interest in guys, but I've always felt there is a possibility I may fall in love with a man anyway and I'm pretty okay with that if it happens for whatever reason.

And the thing with sexual orientations is, though they may be facts/feelings in and of them own, they are impossible to fully communicate and express concisely and that's what makes labels labels. No person's sexual orientation is exactly like another's, and that's why they're not definable. Only personal opinion of course, just my two cents.

OP should keep this in mind. You're not odd for having an exception, and the way you choose to explain this is up to you. Though again, my advice only comes from my personal experience, so of course take it with a grain of salt.

 

But there are so many people out there who wouldn't date anyone bisexual. I don't think I'd be comfortable identifying myself as something I really feel I'm not, but I see why people don't want to get the insults bisexuals get thrown at them. I am very afraid of the idea of being bisexual and sometimes I think just identifying as straight and dating only guys (which is pretty much what I did most of my life) is a better idea than trying to live as bisexual.

I used to know a woman who told me that she and her girlfriend were both bisexual and if anything she was more oriented toward men, but since she had a female life partner she just identified as lesbian because it was easier and more convenient. I suppose I could go on about how she should identify as bisexual but it's none of my business.

Also, people are weird about all labels, even ones less important than sexual orientation. I see a lot of people trying to insist that they are vegan even if the vast majority of other vegans are saying they're not. And I don't get that -- I'm not vegan and I just say so. And if they're happy with what they eat and how they live, why do they care if someone else calls them a vegan or not? But to them it's very important.

 

Sorry to jump in but why would you want to date people who don't like the real you it makes no sense wouldn't you be happy having a girlfriend you wouldn't have to hide things from . Not all lesbians refuse bisexual women . Some of us are fine with having a bisexual girlfriend ,and excuse my french some of us don't give a shit if you like cock .
I think I would be less likely to trust a woman who would not be honest with me about her sexual orientation ,because the question that pops in my mind is" if she can lie about this what else is she gonna lie about ."
I wonder and this is not directed at you ,but more about what you wrote here are if some women who are multisexual that scared to be themselves? .

Why waste time on people who can't accept you , I say if someone can't accept that you're attracted to more than one gender I think that's grounds to weed them out of your dating list . Their not worth you're time you deserve someone that loves you for you ,and accepts you for you . Why do people waste time trying to be something their not or convincing themselves their something their not . I would think someone like this would probably be really stressed ,and living in fear of being rejected .

I am a lesbian myself ,and I slept with man in the past ; I'm in the same boat as bisexual women plus I would be rejected if other lesbians find out .
I don't turn around ,and so Oh I might as well lie or say I'm this because some girl is gonna reject me . If she doesn't like me because I slept with a guy well it's her lost ,and I wouldn't want to be with such a stuck up judgmental person I deserve better and I'm not settling for less .

You can't go through life censoring yourself for others or scared to be yourself because of what others think . I think this whole thing is just about impressing other members of the lgbt community just so someone can fit in with the group and not feel left out .
It seems like these days people use labels just for status on the lgbt food chain than what they actually mean .
I didn't label myself a lesbian because I wanted to be liked by other lesbians or impress members of the lgbt community . I labeled myself that because I am a lesbian pretty much what it always meant . Meaning I'm only into chicks and not guys .

 

All I can say is, I don't even like cock per se but I've been in love with guys and I wouldn't pretend I haven't just to get a date. But I don't quite have the courage to say "People better like me or to hell with them." When I go to groups at the Gay and Lesbian Center, they're technically open to bisexual women but every woman there seems to identify as lesbian and I feel like if I admitted it they'd hate me for it. I get so uncomfortable and I feel terrible. So that's why sometimes I wish I could identify as lesbian. (There's a bi group at the center too but almost nobody shows up for it.) There are certainly people who would respect me even though I've been with men, because I've heard them talk about that, but I'm not so sure they'd accept someone bisexual. Anyway, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to take the thread so far from what Calisme intended it to be. But I get why people want labels. There are bad reasons but there are good reasons too. And many people want to belong to a group, to feel that there are other people out there like them, and that's not intrinsically bad.

 

Many people go with the queer label, saying they like people...
or they fall in love with a person, not a gender...

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/161585-explaining-queer-people.html#18


(*hug*)