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Have I been right about being bisexual all this time?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by MouseKeeper, Dec 23, 2014.

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  1. MouseKeeper

    MouseKeeper
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    Hey friends,

    If you had participated in any of my forum posts during my first week or two here, you'd know I was out as Bisexual. Then mom wondered why I had very little interest in starting a sexual relationship with my girlfriend and I tried to tell her that I did but then I realized it wasn't due to attraction, I was just curious (and yes you can be Asexual and still be curious). So, shortly after I realized I wasn't sexually attracted to my girlfriend, I realized that it wasn't just her, that I had a humongous lack of sexual attraction to anybody around me. Then within about a week, I came out as Asexual. It wasn't that hard for me to claim Asexuality. I had never felt what people describe as sexual attraction.

    So, recently, I started questioning my Asexuality label, and so I looked up lists of sexual orientations and I clicked on this:
    Comprehensive List of LGBTQ+ Term Definitions

    and came upon the definition of Bisexuality: a person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction to people of their own gender as well as another gender.

    I actually meet 2/4 of these, maybe 3 (the spiritual attraction too. I'm not sure about that one) but I definitely don't experience sexual attraction, that is, the desire to have partnered sex with any other person for reasons besides pleasing a partner, having kids, showing affection and satisfying a curiosity. The ones I experience are the physical and romantic attraction to both sexes.

    Does this mean I have been bisexual all this time?

    I knew I was biromantic, bisensual, and biaesthetic, but due to knowing I experience physical attraction, I'm curious if I was right the first time when I came out as bisexual. Thanks a bunch.
     
    #1 MouseKeeper, Dec 23, 2014
  2. bicomplicated

    bicomplicated
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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I don't think you need to label. Just be happy with yourself. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 bicomplicated, Dec 23, 2014
  3. DoriaN

    DoriaN
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    People aren't mocha cocoa vanilla sprinkle frappa lattes.
     
    #3 DoriaN, Dec 23, 2014
  4. Maxis

    Maxis
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out to everyone
    With all due respect, I do think you are getting hung up on label definitions. Labels are very flexible; they are not black-and-white and what (for example) bisexual means to one is not the same as what bisexual means to another. Labels are also very individual and are purely for the purpose of oversimplifying very complex, unique, and individual feelings so that another person can understand roughly what said feelings are. This means that there is no one true definition for what any label means and thus it is completely up to you on whether you believe asexual or bisexual fits you more, or to even go by a label at all.
     
    #4 Maxis, Dec 23, 2014
  5. warholwendy

    warholwendy
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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I am a straight man that wouldn't be opposed to dating another dude. Food for thought.
     
    #5 warholwendy, Dec 23, 2014
  6. SOULkitchen

    SOULkitchen
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    Mouse I know how you feel. I have always been far more romantically-inclined than sexually so. I had a pretty intense relationship with my first girlfriend - I really loved her and she loved me... the first time we had sex I thought it was amazing, but almost every time after that I didn't enjoy it, in fact I felt kinda disgusting during it, like I was just doing it for her because she wanted it so bad.

    So I thought maybe I'm only gay, but the first time I had sex with a boyfriend I felt that same lack of arousal which also seemed to include guilt and disgust. I was afraid to come because I thought I would be overwhelmed by regret and shame once I did. It was so weird.

    When I was 13 at the onset of puberty, I was molested a few times by my cousin... you know, it's hard to understand whether I am actually asexual, or if I am sexually traumatized

    Maybe it's not important to label it, and just be who we are, like Miss Bicomplicated said.
     
    #6 SOULkitchen, Dec 23, 2014
  7. IWICCO

    IWICCO
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    Damn! Your words are deep! As someone who was molested as a child I can relate.
     
    #7 IWICCO, Dec 23, 2014
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