At first I was sure but, I am confused by my feelings for awhile now. I am physically attracted to women, but I can have emotional 'thing' with men. I don't know how to put this but, I will try. I find some men really handsome, I can admire their looks and how funny, smart or good at something they are, everybody can do that, I guess. But at the same time, I had 'tons' of platonic feelings for men, thinking about them, but nothing romantic like spending the rest of my life with them or anything, I am sure I am not romantically attracted to guys. I think about talking with them, helping them out when life gets rough, hanging out with them. I have always wanted to be one of the guys, drinking beer and making jokes and everything, it seemed cool to me. That's why I always wanted to impress them or something, I am a bit of ashamed of that... I am pretty sure I have no sexual attraction towards guys too, but I still can admire their look, or... their voice, somehow I find male deep voices really hot. But, I get crazy when I hear a woman talking in a husky and deep voice, it's a different thing. I really though for some time that, this voice thing is a sign of attraction, but I don't want men in my bed. So, is it platonic feelings that I have for guys, or something more? I would be really thankful for any answer or expierence you could share, I really want to figure this out at last. Thank you!
Many of my closest friends have been men... in fact the person that is my favorite human being on the planet is a man. I absolutely adore him, but I'm not attracted to him "like that". He also happens to be a total hunk.
If you're not romantically or sexually attracted to men, I think you're a lesbian. You honestly just might really like men as people. They do have some great characteristics that stereotypical females don't tend to possess. Also, maybe you desire to these characteristics in yourself (just shooting in the dark here, I honestly have no idea)?
You are right, I do. I have always preferred guys as friends too. ---------- Post added 26th Dec 2014 at 06:44 AM ---------- What else could it be? It is hard to undertand, and it's really confusing... I for sure don't want to lead another guy on (I have broken one guy's heart, it was really hard for him, I blame myself to this day) just because I can't understand what I feel for men... ---------- Post added 26th Dec 2014 at 06:53 AM ---------- So what is the difference between adoring him and not liking him "like that"? my question sounds a little bit silly, but I have trouble telling the difference between romantic attraction and platonic feelings, maybe because I had pretty strong feelings for guys, but not in a 'let's get married and have kids, I want you' way. I remember like this one guy, he was in trouble with his parents, drugs and other stuff... I had sleepless nights because of him. I always wanted to be near him, with him, help him. We grew up in a same house, but we can't really remember each other clearly, but our parents are friends. I really cared for him, I sometimes got jealous about him with other people, but I couldn't see my future with him, I felt this bond and now I look back, it wasn't romantic, but then, what is it??
I have no interest in sex with him. If one doesnt ascribe to the idea that being gay is about who one is sexually attracted to, then it may be something that is difficult to understand. I'm not jealous of my friend being with women, and he is with many. In fact, he tells me a lot about his relationships and certain escapades. I've not felt jealousy over it. Maybe I'm not understanding you, then again maybe it would be helpful for you to define lesbian (or however you identify) For me its simply that I am not attracted sexually to men, nor would I ever have sex with them. Its nearly revulsion (sorry guys ) that I feel when it comes to being sexual with a guy. Took me a long time to get honest with myself about that.
Maybe I wanted him to be ok so badly I became overprotective that time... maybe that's why I was jealous. He had a girlfriend, and I wasn't jealous about it, she was beautiful and smart. I liked her a little bit, am I that weird that I could have a crush on my crush's gf? lol, that's hard to put. And, I love to talk about girls with my guy friends. I understand you... I still can't admit it somehow, even though I know it's truth. I am glad you figured it out.
My dilemma is so similar to yours… I can never tell the difference between visual attraction and actual sexual attraction. Men's looks, voices (also love raspy/deep voices) and smells sometimes draw me in but I have yet to find a guy that I would want to go to bed with. Here's the trick that I use: when talking to the guy, get close, like really close. Make sure your lips are only a few inches away and just wait for your response. If you are sexually attracted to him, you will know! Obviously you can't test this out with every boy your curious about but if you have the opportunity to try this (shouldn't be too difficult if you guys are close and see each other all the time), I really suggest that you do it. Best of luck!
Mostly, the closer I am to a guy, the less I want to kiss him lol. How is it working for you? thanks for advice by the way.
I can completely relate to this. I think guys are great. They have a good sense of humour, like sports and video games like I do, and they are not judgemental. I can honestly say that I love boys, but in a very different way I love girls. With girls, there seems to be this underlining passion. Pretty girls make my head swing round, their laughs make me blush and I become giddy when they hug me. Although it is boys I have more in common, it is girls who make my heart flutter. It took me to while to realise this difference. I could see myself going out with dates with girls and boys: going for a meal, a movie. But with boys, I only wanted to go out and have fun as friends. I could never imagine kissing them, unlike girls. I just feel like 'one of the boys'. I try to impress them, like a guy tries to impress his friends with a stunt or a trick. I can talk about my hobbies that I can't with girls.
I'm lesbian and can admire a handsome man, I don't think admiring a handsome guy makes you less gay you're still gay anyone can admire a good looking person no matter the gender . I've never felt any thing of impressing guys ,but if I can take a guess maybe it's because you want to fit in with them . I have tried to impress women ,that I was not attracted to because I wanted to be friends so i would think this is the same thing . Look to me this sounds like you like having guy friends ,and enjoy their company in a friendship setting it's called platonic ;And it doesn't make you less gay or lesbian . I admire how Shemar Moore looks , because he's a pretty good looking man , but I don't feel sexual attraction or want to date and sleep with him . I also admire the characters he plays even from the young and the restless and if I had a baby boy I would name him Shemar after that character that doesn't make me less lesbian . I don't have many male friends only a few ,but I did enjoy their company unfortunately for me many of them end up having feels for me and I find out their lesbiphobic . I use to get confused with the platonic and romantic thing with men too I hope this helps good luck .
