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Staying in the closet - emotional consequences?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Terre, Dec 26, 2014.

  1. Terre

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    Do you think staying in the closet can have any emotional consequences if you're married to/ living in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex?
     
  2. Itisthefear

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    yeah you will always have that big << WHAT IF >> inside of you, what if you chose the life out of the closet, what if you were with a person that made you happier and all those things....

    Sometimes people prefer being in the closet while they have a family because they don't want to ruin what they fought for... but there are also married couples who live happily while they know that their husband or wife is gay...
     
  3. Spartan 117

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    It absolutely can, just like hiding any big secret from your partner and family.

    However, the poster above is right. Some individuals (and couples) do manage to make it work.
     
  4. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    OK, well that is exactly my situation. It has brought me a lot of anxiety, and even a couple bouts of depression over the years. The biggest thing, I think, is that it takes a lot of energy to keep projecting a mask of someone I am not. So, that can be both psychologically and physically exhausting. and it is energy that is not available to be my best self, to be truly creative, to be my fullest self.
     
  5. danielo21

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    This is not a "big secret", this is the SECRET. if you are in the closet you will have to pretend for 24/7. Everytime you are looking into the eyes of your spouse and saying "I love you" you will be deceiving. Every time you are being intimate with him/her, you willl be lying. You can't separate this secret of the rest of your life like you do with a normal big secret. This "secret" is going to be the central element of your life.

    Yes, I do think you are going to be depressed and eventually regretful of living a lie. But I am even more concerned about the probably unaware straight person, who doesn't deserve to be with someone who is going to/ is lying to him every time they spend together.

    Yes some people make it work. but only because they are not going to throw away a life together with their children and obligations and because many times the straight was in love with the other, so they prefer to transform the relationship into a intimate friendship/ rommates.
     
    #5 danielo21, Dec 27, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2014
  6. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    which ends up feeling like a prison sentence, for life. it is awful to live through, and I can't imagine what it must be like for a wife whose husband sees her as a jailer. don't go there!