Hi all This is my first post here. I haven't written my story yet but I just wanted to introduce myself and get some help. In short, i'm a 31yo male and i'm questioning my sexuality. I've been straight my whole life, with steady girlfriends but recently my relationships haven't quite felt right. I've never yet had a gay encounter or anything close... Right now it's just fantasies and some physical arousal around other men. Enough to make me think twice. I feel i'm trying so hard to explore this, or at least wanting to explore this.... I guess there's a big difference between them. At least considering I could be anything but straight is terrifying. Mainly, I keep telling myself, "OK you need to just go and be gay", and of course that's pretty crazy, because i'm getting scared and anxious to the point of freezing up and just not doing anything. Kinda like telling myself I need to jump into a pit of fire. I know I need to have a better mindset about exploring myself - a better attitude towards me. But it seems so hard. What has helped you guys go from curious to actually having the guts to find out??? ANY help would be really appreciated. Thanks and I'm really looking forward to talking with you all more
Hey there! First off, welcome to the forums. It's easy to panic when something you've felt was true your whole life is suddenly cast in to doubt, right? In reality, there's really no need to feel anxious - the fact you're open to exploring your sexuality is a good thing! It's only a case of getting to know your feelings a little better! It sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be 'straight' or be 'gay'. Really you should just be you! There's such a broad range of sexuality and you could be anywhere on that spectrum, so don't jump to conclusions, just be open minded. In answer to your question, I think the first step is to be informed. Read other people's stories on the forums and see how they feel - and if you feel similar in any way. You've said that considering yourself as anything apart from straight is 'terrifying' - so confront the fear and find out more about sexuality in general. You might find it's not actually that scary once you know more about it! At least, that helped me when I was figuring things out when I was younger! One step at a time, buddy: you'll be okay whatever your sexuality!
well, for me it wasn't something that "helped" me having the guts to have sex with me. It was this powerful drive that I couldn't resist. I say that I COULD NOT resist it because I kept trying to resist it. I didn't want to be gay, I refused for years to believe I was gay, but I kept having sex with me. Finally, I accepted that my strong desire to have sex with me was an indicator that I am in fact gay. I am delighted to have accepted that fact, it makes life easier, and in fact I am overjoyed and grateful to be gay. Now, when we talk about girls/women, that took a lot of guts. I wanted to be a good boy and do what I was supposed to, so I tried hard to do what straight guys did, but it was always a matter of having to have a lot of guts. So, I graduated from college a virgin, never been kissed. I had sex with some prostitutes, and then had my first encounter with a man and couldn't stop after that. I got married to the first woman who noticed me, and I was certain that being married would make the gay go away (that it was just a matter of not having sex with a woman, and that once I had that available all the time, the man stuff would stop). Well of course, it don't work like that. I am gay and always was. So what's that mean for you? I don't know, I think only you can figure that out. Make friends with gay and bi men, and just see where things go. I mean, you can always go to hook up sites to, and jump right in if that is the way that you want to go. but my suggestion would be to start out in the shallow end of the pool
