So.....Im 14, I've always been attracted to girls sexually and in very other way, but since 2 months ago i've had doubts about my sexuality. I watched gay porn the other day..... I got hard, i then watchd straight porn about 10 minutes later, i did not get an erection. I have masturbated to gay porn, but have never done it and thiught of a gay experience, i never get hard over mens bodies, like abs and shit. I Have no romantic or emotional feelings towards men, but do for girls. Im really worried as, one way to see if ur gay is that ur ring inger is shrter than ur indx finger......on my hands it is. I really wont want to be gay. I wanna live the rest of my life with a girl. Am i gay ???? What do u think ????
I think that you should ignore that thing about the ring fingers. It's not true. The real indicator is who you are attracted to. Porn is porn, and you might want to just stay away from it for a while and spend time with real people. Go out with groups of people your age, girls and boys. Make friends of both genders. Don't worry about who you want to have sex with, or get romantically involved with. Just make friends. And all that other stuff will become clearer with time. If you're straight, you'll know it because you will find that you just enjoy girls. if you like both, then that could be bi. and if it turns out you're gay, just find some support, like a counselor at school or a therapist. Being gay ain't the end of the world, in fact it is just fine for those of us who are. But don't worry about it so much, just work on developing a social life and spend time with others.
A lot of people just get turned on by porn, regardless of the sex of the people involved, so it's best not to worry about that too much, especially if it doesn't match your thoughts about real people. Also, a lot of people who question their sexuality don't want to be gay when they start. Most people who are gay eventually get past this and become happy with their identities, but it can take time. And anyone who is gay will be far happier accepting that fact than they will trying to pretend it's not true (with a possible exception for people who live in extremely homophobic societies). And definitely ignore the ring finger thing. Good luck!
As far as the ring finger thing. Both of my ring fingers are noticeably longer than my index finger. You don't even need to look closely to tell the difference. And I'm pure 100% gay. There is no way to tell that you or anyone else is gay based on physical characteristics. Same for mental characteristics, unless you count 'wanting to have sex only with someone of the same gender'. Todd
As other people have said, let time tell. Don't worry about it. But I have a question - what's so bad about being gay? Why are you so scared? There's nothing wrong with it at all, and if you are, there's nothing you can do. So don't waste your time hoping you aren't.
If you're attracted to girls, sexually and romantically, as you say you are - I really don't think that you're what most people would describe as "gay". Whether you have some sexual attraction for men too, I'm not sure, but as the others say - porn isn't really a good indicator. A lot of people get turned on by all types of porn, regardless of their sexuality. You are only young, so keep an open mind for the future, but don't stress about it. Just follow your heart to what (and who) makes you happy! Oh, and the finger thing is a myth! Sorry about that, haha!
in fact, in those early experimentation years, lots of people even have sex with the "wrong" gender. That can be another part of finding out who we are. I don't recommend "using" other people as a way to find out, but we have a lot of experiences. My first sexual experiences were with female prostitutes overseas while in the navy, because I had never had any sexual experiences at all (other than solo). But then I had experiences with men, and I that was just so much more natural, and I didn't have to think about it a lot or make a lot of effort, because it just came naturally. There are all kinds of experiences that we have as we're getting to know ourselves, and it can take a bit of time, or it can take a lot of time. But once we know, and we really understand who we are, it's beautiful. And I agree that if that identity is gay, it is as wonderful as any other identity. I am grateful for who I am, and I would never wish away being gay. Good luck on you're journey. You'll figure it out!
I agee with Wildside. About six months ago, I decided to stop watching porn, and my thoughts and desires have never been more clear. I think the internet, more specifically pornography, skews our desires and makes us questions our urges. In my opinion, to a certain extent, it hinders our ability to decipher between our urges, that is what we truly want, and our fantasies, or those thoughts and ideas that we enjoy in theory, but have no practical interest pursuing. Hope this helps to some extent. Feel free to message me if you want to talk more or if you need anything else. Best of Luck!
