I am the result of a one night stand and have never had a relationship with my father. My mother was married five years ago, but my stepfather and I never got along well. I'm not interested in having any form of relationship with a man, and I think that may be the cause for my orientation. I've done some research on the causes of homosexuality and haven't come up with much. I've heard everything from genes, upbringing, and that it is gods solution for overpopulation. I've been visiting this site over the past several months and I think some of you may be more educated in this than I. Thanks in advance for helping me with this.
I never got along with my father either, even now I still don't. Ever since I was 11 I was searching for a father figure that I wanted to see in myself. I didn't have anyone to look up to. However, thoughts like this cannot change my orientation from straight to gay. I am not implying that this is the exact same case for you, but what I also want to add is that there are many for things for you to consider. It's like porn. Just because you watch gay porn doesn't mean that you are gay, although for some people the porn they watch aligns with their orientation. As for the causes of homosexuality, it could be just a variation in the human population. If you think about it, nothing is wrong with same-sex relationships in that they are no different than a straight individual. They both can get sick, contract diseases, fall in love, etc. IF there's any reason for you to identify as a lesbian, it'll be because you have feelings for women. It's obviously not that cut and try, but it's something you'll know and no one else can tell you.
There's probably no one cause. The overpopulation theory we can definitely discount. If half the population had a gene that made them gay if their environment was overpopulated, and half didn't, then if that gene gets switched on, the following generation becomes less likely to have it. Eventually no one would. A gene that only benefits the reproductive ability of people who don't have that gene couldn't propogate, even if it were the case that overpopulation would lead to the whole society collapsing. Also I don't know of any study showing animals to be more likely to be gay in high population density areas. Studies of twins seem to show that homosexuality is largely genetic. If I recall correctly if one identical twin is gay there's about a 50% chance his twin will be too. However it's possible that twins that are both gay are more or less likely to volunteer for studies than twins where only one is gay. I should also say that there have been far more of these studies done on men than on women. There are some physiological differences between gay and straight people, some of which would seem to have to develop before birth. These include differences in brain structure, and also gay people are much more likely to be left handed and to have hair with an anti-clockwise whorl than straight people. Male readers might be interested to know that the average penis length for a gay man has been recorded at about a third of an inch longer than straight men. As far as I know it's possible that by birth sexuality isn't determined, but that events before birth only affect the likelihood of a person being gay, and then events soon after settle the matter. There are lots of theories about how a gene for homosexuality could propagate, which you can look up. It's possible that genes for being gay don't always actually make an individual gay, and that the same gene increases the likely number of offspring if the individual turns out to be straight. Absent parent theories are, I believe, largely discredited. They're mainly spread by people who want to see gay people as having a problem that could be fixed with the right set of family values, and I've heard of people claiming that homosexuality in men can be caused by either an absent mother or an absent father. I don't recall seeing any studies attempting to check for either explanation, but I'm sure someone must have tried.
If absent fathers made lesbians, probably 60 to 75% of women would be lesbians. Certainly most of my friends would be.
I am not close with my dad either. Though if I were, I'd still be gay. Another factor I hear is that gay women are gay because they were raped or had a bad experience with a man. If that were true, a lot more women would be gay.
I'm close with my dad and am gay. We work on cars and motorcycles together. We have several similar interests. I don't think that had anything to do with it in my case. Ladies are attractive and I'm attracted to them!
In all honesty, though I dislike playing the 'past makes you who you are' card, in SOME cases, this is true for SOME people and if this MIGHT be the case for you, then I strongly urge seeking professional input on the matter as a professional can help you better tease out and differentiate between 'seeking same sex company because that's where all my source of comfort came from' or 'I don't like men because dad was absent' versus 'I simply prefer women'. Personally, my father was a situationally absent figure and I ended up very much bonding with men anyways and orienting towards them and I can definitively say that there isn't anything 'daddy' about them or the way I see them.
