Help a girl out?

Hey Guys!

So I obviously need help. Otherwise I would not be coming here. I guess i'll start by tell the whole story. Its kind of long so please bear with me as I try to shorten it. Currently I'm a 19 year old, female, college freshman in Utah. I was raised in the in a form of Christianity along with the majority of my friends. Growing up I never thought about being attracted to girls. I always was a huge flirt with guys and was known for being a player. But once I entered high school thoughts and fantasy's started entering my mind concerning girls. One time senior or junior year me and my best girlfriend where hanging out with two other guys. We both knew we where going to make out with them and they mentioned girl on girl was hot. So me and best friend ended up kissing. I found myself kissing her back, like really kissing her. She pulled away and freaked out that I really kissed her. We got over it but did it again to turn on the same set of boys another time but that was it. To be honest after that day I couldn't help not to want to kiss a girl again. I eventually ignored the thoughts and continued to be with guys. My senior summer I was sexually assaulted by my boss. That was really traumatic and lost my two best friends over it. I went to college and decided to drink. I had never been drunk, done drugs, or had sex before this point. I got so drunk I passed out and ended up being raped in my own dorm bed. Needless to say things became really rough. But I met this really amazing man who is talking about marriage. But since those two sexual assaults I cant ignore my sexual attraction to women. I just get such a rush when I see two girls kiss and I really want to act on it. I don't want to risk my relationship but I don't know what to do. I don't know if the feelings are a result of the assults or a phase or are legit. Any advice? Thanks!!