Anyone else embarrassed about questioning their sexuality

i also use to be very embarrassed with my sexuality when i was 11 and first discovered i liked guys. from that point i was so embarrassed and scared that i hid it from myself and everyone... until last Aug when i came out to my self. now im not so embarrassed about my sexuality, or the fact that i questioned/question it, alothg its not something i openly share. its who i am, and i cant change it so i try and just go with it. i figure i have enough things i dont really like about my self, why add another thing to it lol

 

. I started questioning at 24 and I was embarrased too because I that at that age you should have that aspect of your life sorted out.. But then I thought what the hell. There are people out there who doesn't realize they're gay until much later in life. 24 is not that bad. Besides I'm thankful I'm going through all this in my mid twenty's and not my teenage years. They were already hard enough without the sexual confussion.

About self-harming. I've done it in the past and I know how good it feels but that's just for a brief moment of time and it's not worth it. I felt like crap afterwards. Stay strong, please. If there's something I learnt it's that things always get better. I've never thought I could be as happy as I am now years ago whe I was depressed.

 

I'm sorry that you've self harmed. Idk what that's like, but I do know what questioning is like. I still question my sexuality everytime sex or intimacy comes up.

But after talking with my therapist, I felt more comfortable with not knowing my sexuality. This is my thing, not anyone else's. If I don't want to or can't figure out my sexuality until I'm 80 then so be it. Would I rather know my sexuality so that I know who to date and such? Yes . Is it vital answer to my daily life? No.

Currently I fall somewhere on the sexuality spectrum, and I don't have it solidified as to what it is. But, do I even want to know what it is or want it to be in a fixed point on the spectrum? Maybe it will slide back and forth a bit on the spetrum. I would like to figure it out, but I'll see where life brings me... study my interactions between different/same sexes, explore my feelings as I meet new people. It's ultimately not worth worrying about. Worrying about it isn't going to bring you the solution any faster. Experimenting might though

 

I feel the same way. I wish I could be confident in my sexuality, but I'm not totally. I'm out to a few people as gay, but internally I'm having a hard time deciding. It feels like I can't possibly be gay while finding as few guys attractive as I do, and still being physically aroused by women. (But not mentally. I don't have any interest in having sex with women.) I think I'm probably demisexual and that's why I don't find many boys immediately attractive.

 

I'm not really embarrassed about questioning my sexuality. I am 20 almost 21 next month and I started questioning my self last October one day thinking Am I A Lesbian? And since then I have gone from straight/bi/lesbian/Pansexual and I am still confused

 

im very embarrassed about questioning my sexuality, i´d say im straight but there are moments when i say to myself- "do straight people have those feelings like me?", its not easy and i agree i´d prefer to be whoever but to be sure about that

 

I relate to so much of this. I want to be 100% gay REALLY badly.

 

I'm very confused about my own sexuality and it also makes me feel very low. I totally get what you mean, and the advice I've had is that you need to learn to try and trust your own instincts and go with the flow. Don't be ashamed when you're experimenting and try to accept you might not be 100%, focus on whether you like the person regardless of their sex. And know that you're not alone here!

 

I feel this so hard. I just want to know!

 

None of us are alone... This forum is teaching me that. I think the embarrassment, the questioning, the shame is part of most of our journey's.I know it's hard but try and think of it as a journey of discovery.

I also self harmed and thought of suicide in the past but trust me things do get better. Try to build up time gradually doing other things instead of self harming. For example talk to people on here or offer some advice on other issues, go on Facebook, talk to a friend, go for a walk, exercise, write... Whatever it is that will distract you from self harming, start with 5 mins n slowly build it up.eventually these new habits wills become your coping strategies. It will get better but it does take time.

 

I'm not. I think I would be more embarrassed about farting loudly in the library then questioning my orientation, which as everyone above describes, is self harming.

 

I'm not embarrassed.

 

I can relate to that. I feel like I'm indirectly lying to my friends because I haven't told them about my confusion but coming out as questioning would be so weird.
In general, I'm not really embarrassed about questioning... more disappointed. Not because I might be bi but because I can't figure this out.
A person's sexual orientation is such a private, internal thing that I think no one else can really tell them what they are. So my problem is that there is this deeply personal thing that I don't know about myself. Knowing that I'm not the only one struggling with this helps a little, though.

 

I'm 21 and thought I was straight until I fell in love with a girl, and now I'm questioning, confused, and very embarrassed. I thought I knew myself.

 

Usually embarassment requires two parties -
Party 1, who is (on purpose or not) doing or saying something embarassing in the presence of Party 2 - who's opinion Party 1 cares a LOT about
- and -
Party 2, who is witnessing and judging said action or words - which could be happening in real life or in Party 1's mind

So my question is, who do you think is watching you when you feel embarrassed? (your Party 2) and why are their opinions so much more important than your own?

The lables; "Confused" or "Questioning" or "Curious" or "Not Straight" or "Queer" are completely acceptable lables to place on yourself. Even if you just use them in the interim before you settle on another one that feels just right.

 

I'm not embarrassed about questioning my sexuality to myself, but I think it could be a little embarrassing to share depending on who I shared it to. But compared to talking about my gender I feel like my sexuality isn't a big deal at all. My brain just makes some things bigger issues than others. I've spoken freely to friends and family about my sexuality quite a bit without trouble, with gender, what I personally see myself as, I'm far more hesitant.