1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How did you discover your sexual orientation?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by anonymous95, Dec 30, 2014.

  1. anonymous95

    anonymous95 Guest

    Or what made you start to question? :eek:
     
  2. YuriBunny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2014
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I liked reading about lesbians, lesbian relationships, and lesbian rights online. I was very fascinated by lesbians, and then I realized that I would be open to dating a girl myself. I figured I was probably bisexual. Then, years later, I had a crush on a girl, and my feelings for girls intensified, causing me to question my orientation again. I realized my feelings for boys were nothing compared to my feelings for girls, and decided I was a lesbian.
     
  3. Alais

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    I was always open to having feelings for all genders, but it never actualized and my fantasies were about men as a teenager.

    (Apologies but my discovery below is a bit TMI).
    Then when I had my first sexual experience with a guy that I properly connected with, an entirely out of the blue thing happened. He went down on me, I was like 'meh', so shut my eyes and the first thought I had was 'this would be so much better with a woman'. I could have jumped up then and shouted. I was so shocked. No idea where it came from. Although I didn't let on. That relationship continued. Only after it ended for other reasons did I, like YuriCore, start an obsession with online lesbian relationships. The sexual feelings towards women went up and up, I realised men did nothing sexually for me.

    There were some other clues afterwards in that relationship, but before then I have no idea how I would have known.
     
  4. DelvSeigible

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2014
    Messages:
    84
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Jose
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    The idea of Liking girls was amusing to me as a boy. I remember that I would rate how beautiful other kids especially girls my age were back in 2nd grade. I was just trying to imitate the adults and the media's portrayal of love and liking someone.

    For the longest time I liked girls and chase after dreams of dating a few of my classmate. Then around 4th grade I got swept into the tide of hentai and ironically gender bending anime. The idea of homosexuality really trouble me but it was like biting into a forbidden fruit. So it wasn't any surprise that every single time I turn a page my brain slowly changed and ideas of the things that are socially acceptable also shift. It was not until 5th and 6th grade that I felt really strange and different from my fellow classmate; however, I was always very good at hiding my inner thoughts and action... Sometimes too well. People believe I was a straight as a needle who ran laps a little slower than everyone, a smart class wearing nerd which a full lip and eyes a little too girly. Yes I was one of those honor roll students, but I payed my price of getting to that positionwas heavy, perhaps heavier than I would ever paying now. I payed th
     
  5. DelvSeigible

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2014
    Messages:
    84
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Jose
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    A heavy price for I pretend all too well to be male.
    In junior high I decided to address my reasons for being so awkward, and lo and behold I suddenly finally accepted myself as having develop a female gender identity. The struggle was enormous and it felt like I was chase my gender polices all my teenage years. Along the way I grew hatred for one of the girls I asked out, and I also ended up not being able to look one of my guy friends in the face. The journey was long and the trials were difficult but in the finale I felt ready to say to my parents that I consider myself transgender.
    Do I regret? No, I found myself all over again after a void of living in a strict rigid world of mine. Life and death became my close friend for I feel like a new person every time I open my eyes and realize: I am female. !! Sorry for the double post but the mean admin put a restriction of 15 for revision of accidental post and I was too annoy to contact him/her to get privilege to change it :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: silly me~
     
  6. DarkWolf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2014
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Back before I knew I was transgender it was easy for me to accept the fact I like men. It took me a long time to accept the fact that checking out girl's butts is not what a straight girl would do.
     
  7. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    wow, I've got to go really far back to connect the dots on that one. I guess I started to question even before I hit puberty. I heard a show on the radio where they were talking about sexual orientation in adolescents. I was ten years old, and I was kind of fearing that I was gay. In high school, I got excited changing in the locker rooms, and that made me think. when I was going in the military, and there was a question on the entrance forms about orientation, I really knew that I was gay, even though I was still a never-been-kissed virgin, but I also knew that they would not let me in back in those days if I said yes (this was even before "don't ask don't tell." It was more like, "we'll ask, you'll deny, and we'll hunt you down until we catch you." So three decades of sex with men followed, during which I continued to deny to myself that I was gay. But finally, after all those years, I figured out that the reason I kept having sex with men is that I'm gay!
     
  8. AKTodd

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2013
    Messages:
    3,190
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Norfolk, VA
    A guy hit on me in the locker room shower in college. He kept this up, with ever less subtlety for several weeks before I finally figured out what he was doing. Then I took him up on the offer. We fooled around several times over several more weeks and then I stopped it for a while due to various things, mainly me dealing with the idea that I could ever engage in intimate interaction with anyone of any gender.

    About a year later, I initiated a sexual encounter with a guy on two different occasions. At the end of the second one, I thought about it and concluded I was gay.

    Todd
     
  9. When I was in the 4th grade, I saw a TV show where this boy was spiking hair, like some boys do to look good for girls, and I wanted to spike my hair, too, but didn't know why. At the end of fourth grade, I was watching Harry Potter and when I saw Emma Watson, I got his feeling in my heart, but it's hard to explain. And then in the Summer between 4th and 5th grade, I got my first crush, on actress Emma Watson, and then I had a crush on Keira Knightley. I've known I'm gay since I was 10.
     
  10. butHitlerisDead

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2014
    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Carolina
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well I didn't really understand what being gay was until like the 5th grade or so, and even after that it wasn't addressed much in my house or among my friends so I just assumed I was straight like most everyone else (I was attracted to guys after all). But freshman year of high school I became friends with this super pretty girl and after a few months I realized I was falling for her, and it was confusing for me as hell... Within the year I concluded I was bisexual. I'm still friends with her, but we're not as close as we used to be, and I've pretty much gotten over my attraction to her. Since then, I've been much more aware of my attraction to girls, but before her I didn't really notice it I guess.
     
  11. poppet

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2014
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    QLD
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I discovered it a really silly way. I was watching the new movie Divergent, and all of my friends were oohing and ahhing over the dude that played Four. But I couldn't take my eyes of the chick that played Christina.

    Then I started thinking about everything and realised who mislead I'd been all these years.
     
  12. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    it was at the mall. seriously they had a sale:grin:

    actually it was at the mall, i was walking up the corridor and looking at the people when i saw this couple coming towards me and they both were stunning. they turned around before they got to me and i got a good look at the other side:icon_wink and i usually focus on the woman and ignor the guy but this time i was thinking that i wanted them both. when they went into a store i continued and started noticing the hot guys as well as the girls, i sat in a quiet part of the food court and had a jumbo coffee and started looking inwards, shutting everything out and what i saw told me that i like both, i sat there for about 45 minutes and was brutally honest with myself. i like both.

    ---------- Post added 31st Dec 2014 at 12:14 PM ----------

    there were plenty of signs early in life but i had them buried as deep as possible for my personal safety, had to be here, that i hid them even from myself. being Bi explains why i could love my ex wife honestly and not have to force it for all those years.
     
  13. Elementsroyalty

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2014
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Tasmaina
    Gender:
    Female
    I discovered my sexual orientation when I reflected on my past feelings towards girls. I found I'd always loved looking at beautiful women. I would find it hard to look away from attractive girls in the streets and at school. I remember staring at a girl in class so long, she saw me and whispered to her friend that I was a freak.
    I also had a similar situation to Poppet. When I watched Titanic in class, while all the other girls were swooning over Leonardo Di'Caprio, I was focusing on Kate Winslet. And when that drawing scene came up... :icon_redf
    But I think the biggest indicator was that I looked up and saved pictures of actresses I had found attractive in films.
    I have no idea why I didn't realise earlier.
     
  14. raiden04

    raiden04 Guest

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2014
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somewhere in Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I discovered my attraction to guys in a rather odd way. I went to an all-boys high school and never once checked out any of the guys there. It all started in my first year of uni for me. I moved away from home into a residential hall with loads of other new and continuing students, which is where I first saw him. Omg was he just mhmm. He still gives me goosebumps lol.

    Anyway as the year progressed, I started comparing other guys around me to him. At first I thought it was just a phase and that maybe he was the only guy I found so unbelievably desirable. He was smart, kind and incredibly hot. He never had a girlfriend or took an interest in any of the girls that threw themselves at him. I held on to hope...

    Mid-way through the year that hope was crushed though. He finally took an interest in a girl: My then best friend. I thought I'd go back to checking out girls instead of guys but, needless to say, that never happened.

    So the question I ask myself from time to time nowadays is did his sudden appearance in my life turn me gay? Or did his all-around attractiveness coax the inherent gay out of me? Probably the latter lol.
     
    #14 raiden04, Jan 1, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2015
  15. LooseMoose

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2014
    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    For me it was a gradual thing:

    -from a very early age I had an interest in women: getting very aroused when seen some suggestion of female nudity, wanting to have a "best, intimate, female friend' etc. but I also was scared of those feelings and picked boys at random to have 'crushes on' becuase this was how things were supposed to be: boy on tv, or the brother of a girl I actually HAD a crush on because she though he is very good looking (I know, weird!), and from early teens I just tried to 'train myself' into thinking about men and not women when thinking about sex because I wanted to be 'normal'.

    -I always knew I liked women, but was to inhibited to act on it, nevertheless was out as bi in my teens, but only ever dated/hooked up with guys.

    -then I developed a mechanism of developing feelings for people based on attractions to their personality etc, this is how I developed feelings for my back then bf, however sexually although initially things were more or less ok, they became non-existent pretty soon after we have moved in together, also the relationship felt missing in other ways, and I started to feel uncomfortable with his maleness.
    I increasingly started to wonder if all this did not mean that I was gay, rather than bi, so for the first time I've mustered the courage and hooked up with a girl. It was really the experience which confirmed my gayness, there was no comparison for me, for the first time I was actually really aroused by somebody physically and not just mentally and I felt really connected to another person. It was a true moment of self-realisation, as cheesy as it sounds.

    She then became my gf for few months and after we broke up I went for a while back to men because well... I was hurt and I still could develop desire to be close to somebody physically based on liking to talk to them for example, rather than physical/sexual attraction. It was always men I actually found unattractive (with the exception of my ex), and I think I was getting a weird ego boost of out that, but it was also almost like a form of self-harm.

    Now I just want that in my life anymore, I realise that the thing with men was more of a cop-out based on emotional/mental needs & denial of my homosexuality, rather than true sexual attraction, and the longer I've been in therapy to help me with emotional issues the less I have any interest in men at all, but I still struggle to give myself permission to seek out being with a woman, but I know that this is the only thing I have interest in.
     
  16. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    When I was young, I had a crush on a female video game character and then I started to question from there. Also, all the 'men' I had crushes on pretty much looked/acted like women anyway
     
  17. Crazy1604

    Crazy1604 Guest

    I noticed I liked guys when I was getting changed for sports with all the fit guys around me and the fact that I actually liked the changing rooms and I just didn't really ever think about girls
     
  18. Tai

    Tai
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2014
    Messages:
    867
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    CA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Being trans really kept me in ignorance for a while, thinking I was a straight girl. So up until last year (still feels like 2014) I thought that. Then I realized I had some tiny attractions to girls. But guys were still the primary attraction. Then, learning about what being transgender made me realize that I am not a straight girl, but, in fact, a gay boy! All of the signs from childhood made sense now.
     
    #18 Tai, Jan 1, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2015
  19. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    It was inevitable!!! If it hadn't been him, it would have been somebody else. :icon_wink Definitely a sweet story!!!
     
  20. raiden04

    raiden04 Guest

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2014
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somewhere in Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Lol I really do think so too, the following year I fell in like with this other guy in my class. Unfortunately for me he's straight too and dating another really good friend of mine now (I really know how to pick 'em don't I? haha)

    2 guys in 2 years, if the trend holds true I'll probably fall for yet another guy this year who'll go on to date a girl-friend of mine :/