Is it normal for bisexuals to feel totally straight for a period of time (like a week or so) and then feel completely gay the next and feel like their previous feeling of being straight was non existent... but then suddenly they feel straight again.... and go back and forth... because that's how I feel lol. It's like these rapid swings. I'm not 100% sure on my sexuality either. I've been dealing with what I call AOCD in the last four months... I made up that name for myself but it's like HOCD. But, instead of fearing that I'm gay, I fear that I am aromantic/asexual. Anybody relate? :/
If that's the case then you're technically not bisexual but oscillating between homo- and heterosexuality which doesn't seem very possible imo. As a bisexual I go through periods where I lean more towards one sex but that doesn't mean that my attraction towards the other sex has completely disappeared.
I went back and forth like you described as well. It turns out that I might have HOCD. So in your case, since you're afraid that you could be aromantic/asexual, you could have AOCD. When I hung out with the girl that I liked for quite some time, my sexual thoughts/urges for older men went away. I mean, I can recall that I would have sexual thoughts/urges about a man with that appearance, but I would disregard it immediately, and wouldn't put much thought into it. I always did constant checking to see if I was aroused by my thoughts or not. When I realized that I was aroused, I thought yup, I'm gay. But I've never had feelings for guys at all, so how does that make sense? It doesn't, and this is what I keep reminding myself. Any OCD will generate fear to some degree. For people that constantly wash their hands, they fear the germs/bacteria. For people like you and I that doubt our sexuality, we fear that all our life we never knew our sexual orientation, and realizing it now poses a threat in our mind. Hold onto the things that you know are true to yourself. Only then will you be able to realize who you are. Talking to a therapist may help as well. If you need to, go for it! I did, and it helped a lot.
could it be fluid sexuality? this is what it says on urban dictionary about fluid sexuality: "A person who experiences fluid sexuality will experience changes in their sexual orientation, whether over a lifetime, years, months or sometimes weeks or days at a time. People who identify as having fluid sexuality often see it as a distinct sexual orientation."
to OCD: specialists say one simple thing: if those fantasies with same-sex people are disgusting for you- it´s probably HOCD; if you deep down in your mind like your same sex fantasies but are fear of what people would think about you- then there are probably some sex.orientations issues - but sure even doctors can be wrong...
First off, take a deep breath and relax. Society can make us feel an incessant urge to precisely and perfectly fit ourselves into a preset label box. But really, try to stop stressing so much and acknowledge that even if you don't entirely understand your sexuality right now, that understanding will come in time. Now, I'm of the opinion that your attractions can fluctuate from one extreme to another and you can still call yourself bisexual. Personally, I have gone through periods of having attractions towards guys that were so strong that my feelings for girls were virtually nonexistent (and vice-versa). And I'm still perfectly comfortable calling myself bisexual. From what I've heard from other bisexuals here on EC, a not-insignificant amount of us have attractions that fluctuate from one side to the other. A lot of people have this antiquated view that bisexuality means you must have a 50/50 split between men and women, all the time. But that's simply not the case, and many bisexuals' orientations are much more complex than that. Also, unless you've been professionally diagnosed, I would strongly urge not to start believing that you have an OCD variant. I'm not saying that it's not possible, but do yourself the favor before you put all your stock into the idea and talk with a psychologist/therapist and get their thoughts on the matter.
ellyy: Maybe I'm just bicurious then? I don't know... It's hard to tell. (I'm 18 btw and haven't had a lot of real life experience.) Jax12: Thanks. I've heard a lot of stories online of people having OCD, but not AOCD, so that makes me feel a little secluded and scared... :/ Wildside: I don't really feel comfortable labeling myself as fluid, because it confuses me honestly. Jaymmm: I've had fantasies of me and my friend getting married (she's a girl and I'm a girl) I'm pretty sure I don't have romantic feelings for her. i don't know why I had those fantasies, I just think she's such an amazing person, I've never connected with someone like that. That fantasy was the one that brought up my fear of being aromantic. I do not have a fear of being gay. I have a fear of not being able to experience romantic attraction. And the thought of being aromantic puts me into panic mode. I want to fall in love. Gallatin: I was diagnosed with OCD when I was very young, about 5 years old. It really started to spike when I hit puberty. Then when I turned 17, I began to have intrusive thinking issues. I'm 18 now. I'm just so scared if I'm aromantic, I don't want to be.
I am also 18 and have never had a crush or romantic feelings for anyone but I still know that I'm not aromantic because I could totally see myself falling in love with another person and I also want that to happen. I'm interested in having a relationship where I'm in love with the person. Someone who's aromantic would probably not think like that. If an aromantic would want to fall in love it would probably be because they want to fit in with society and feel more "normal" but ideal for them would be a world where it wasn't expected of people to have romantic feelings for others whereas for a person who's not aromantic it would be ideal for them to have a life where they had the ability to fall in love. Someone who's aromantic would essentially not care about that. The chances that you are aromantic are also small. I don't expect that what I said will help you that much since OCD isn't a simple thing to deal with but I suggest that you get help sorting these thoughts out (just like Jax12 said) before you decide what you are.
Ellyy: Your post actually helped a ton and made me feel better. The past couple hours my OCD has calmed down a bit. I think I'm gonna ask my mom for help she's worked with my OCD since I was diagnosed at 5 so she's really helpful but I'm always ashamed to tell her what my intrusive thoughts are... :/
I'm glad it helped you Yes, you should definitely ask for help! That's the best thing you can do right now, I think. If you find a psychologist you can talk to them about your intrusive thoughts if you don't want to talk to your mom about it. Perhaps that would be more comfortable for you.
