Am i gay?

Well let's take a look at what you've just told us. You find women sexually and romantically attractive, you want to do typical romantic behaviors with women, and you find yourself falling in love with women. When you close your eyes and imagine your future romantic partner, it is always a woman, and never a man. Your feelings toward men are not sexual, though you can have a very close friendship with a man.

Is anything written in there incorrect, and if not, how do you feel about it?

 

I agree with what the above poster has written.

 

Hm so we can restate w/o quoting, alrighty. Same as above except that you need time to explore your sexuality. You yourself need to be confidant in enough so that you can say you are lesbian person, and you need to be mentally ready for such a gender definition change. Have fun exploring.
Best of wishes,
E

 

Do you think gays and lesbians lack the ability to form close friendships, even intimate friendships, with people of the opposite gender? I personally have never struggled to do so, and frequently find myself getting along wonderfully with women. (In most cases, I get along better with women than a group full of straight men.) The bulk of my really good friendships have been with women.

Yet, despite this fact, I have no real desire to have a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman. That just does not exist for me. A woman can (and has) attempt to come onto me sexually, and it will do nothing for me--I will almost by gut instinct push them away. A guy I find attractive does the same thing? He gets the opposite reaction.

When it comes to my romantic feelings, they only exist toward men. I do not have romantic feelings toward women. I have never had a "crush" on a female. Certainly, there have been females in my life that I have cared for extremely deeply, but it was always a platonic love--like the love you might have for someone in your family, a relationship like that of a sister you are really close too or an intimately close best friend.

Does any of the above resonate with you? Not everyone's experience is identical, but that is mine.

You are telling us that you "would" date a male you just don't know "how far you would take it" and that it would not "feel the same". Do you feel the need or pressure to date a male? Would you be happier dating females? If you think you would be happier in a relationship with a female, then what is stopping you from pursuing such a relationship?

 

I know that you do not have a problem with friendship. I apologize for the confusion. I was just trying to draw the distinction between close friendship feelings and romantic feelings, using myself as an example. I am a gay male. I can feel really close to a female, emotionally. That is not an issue for me. I just lack the ability to feel romantically or sexually attracted to women. I do, however, feel romantically and sexually attracted to men. Therefore, I identify as gay.

I draw this distinction because I think trying to separate out friendship feelings from romantic feelings is important. Some people who are struggling with their sexual orientation can confuse the two, and in some cases people can even convince themselves that they feel romantically attracted to someone when they really only have strong friendship feelings toward them.

Does that make sense?

No one can tell you whether or not you are a lesbian, bisexual, or whatever. That just is not possible, and anyone who tries is doing you a disservice because they might be wrong. All people can really do for you is share their experiences with you, and answer specific questions that you have.

If you want specific advice on what to do with your feelings, my suggestion is to be open minded. If you find a woman and are really attracted to her, and there is a possibility for a relationship--take it. Labels are less important than you seeking out someone that you can be happy with, and by your own words you would be happier with a woman.