can you "turn" gay or are you born that way?

It's complicated but research is telling us that we are BORN with a certain sexual orientation and there are definitely genetic factors.

However, it may take a while to figure out what that orientation is (eg. being a demi-homoromantic bisexual might be harder for someone to figure out than being strictly attracted to the same sex both sexually and romantically). Sexuality is a spectrum-and really, the labels are not important. You could go your whole life feeling like you're only attracted to guys and then fall for a girl/have a sexual experience with a girl and still feel that you more closely identify as straight (like, Kinsey 1) or bisexual or whatever. It's about how you feel and if you feel like your identity has changed over time, that's just fine.

(sorry for only giving examples from the gender binary. This applies to everyone!)

 

In our culture we don't speak about sex and sexuality much. I practically never heard of same sex relationships until my thirties and because I was looking in YouTube for two women kissing when I discovered that what I was dreaming of since I was 9 yrs old is true and it happens and I can see it in YouTube oh and the dam crack opened LOL.
I couldn't name or define my feelings but nevertheless no doubt I had them.

 

I think were born this way, its just that some of us realise sooner than others. Dont be scared, hun. Its great that youre learning and exploring your own thoughts and emotions. If I may ask, why are you feeling like you might be gay?

 

I think we are born that way .... is is just a matter of self acceptance and when we get rid of the guilt and be come proud of who we are

 

This actually helped me somewhat, even though I'm (clearly) not OP. Also, although I'd never heard the term "demi-homoromantic bisexual" before, I think that it might be the term that comes closest to how I feel out of any I've seen so far, especially when it comes to it being "harder for someone to figure out than being strictly attracted to the same sex both sexually and romantically". Yeah. I can definitely agree with you that it can be quite difficult to figure something like that out.

 

My 2 cents ( a small amount of U.S. money . . . not worth very much!) is that the labels are more of a problem than the feelings, since they cause confusion. My other 2 cents is that I didn't have a bloody label for myself until I was in my 40's, and remained ignorant and in denial for a while longer.
We had a dinner table discussion with some friends on New Years Eve about this, and one guy said that he knew he was gay when he was 4 years old, before he even knew what sex was!
I think it's something we are born with.

 

Oh hey look, no one above realizes that there exists no studies that completely rule out changes in sexual orientation that aren't deliberate like natural alterations to brain areas that deals with sexual orientation meaning that there is a 3rd option that rejects born this way for everyone and also rejects choice. And also, there is 0 evidence that sexual orientation is immune from alterations to the area of the brain that influences it. This would mean that it's possible for sexual orientation to change, but it's unlikely and it isn't a choice if it does. So, you can indeed turn gay, but therapy is not gonna do that, but rather fate.

Hell there is some studies done on fluid sexuality, and they all have indicative evidence that transitional sexual orientation exists. I'm gonna cite it later, not on phone.

 

I used to think that people turned gay from the influences of society, but I was very ignorant at the time. (So ignorant, in fact, that I had no idea that I, myself was gay!) I have had no major influences to have turned me gay. The more I look at my life, the more sense it makes that I've always been gay. I've never been attracted to girls in the slightest.

 

I don't believe people can really be turned gay. I just think they realize what gender they are truly attracted to. Like, when I was 11, I thought I liked girls, but whenever I saw a shirtless guy on TV I would lose my mind. I later developed crushes for guys and that's when I realized I was gay. In other words, I think people just find more about who they are.

 

I liked the GIRLS for all my life until my first breakup and then I thought maybe it's because I'm gay! And I watch gay porn! And I've imagined myself having sex with older men!

You can definitely do sexual things with the same gender, but that alone does not turn you gay. If there's any reason for someone to identify as gay, it would be because they have feelings for the same gender.

Say there's a cute individual walking down the street. Did you choose to think that individual was cute? Or is that just who you're interested to?

 

Hm.. well there hasn't been any solid evidence that supports either side, right? So, no one can say for sure. It might also depend on the individual. Some may be born with it but there are others who say that their sexuality changes which might not be true or they're born with a fluid sexuality. I don't even know... I just hope people are born with same sex attraction, at least, so that people can't give them shit for that.

 

I think evolution plays tricks on people. Being "born gay" is just as much a flaky theory as is "turning gay". On average, the selective pressure is for attraction to the opposite sex, regardless of how it happens. Don't forget, the brain keeps developing throughout our lives -- it's called learning. Maybe some people become aware of their innate sexuality, which was previously inhibited, while other people change their sexuality.

 

Personally, I feel like I've always been gay and nothing caused it. A lot of gay people report feeling that way.

There's not enough evidence to prove either way.

 

From my understanding kids develop a personality by age 5. As a child uou pick the things you enjoy doing and this puts you into a group when certain amounts of activities make you lenient to a gender; for me it was drawing and talking to people, alone I was a weak child but if an adult help me I was brave. Gender specific activities combine with negative and positive events as a child can cause a divergent between gender and sex.

God made freedom, human made homophobia.
-E

 

This is the same thing as asking do people turn straight or are they born straight .
I think people are born gay but I think whatever answer we find out about this topic the same thing will apply to being straight or any other sexuality .

 

You can only grasp what you know^, try trusting that I suppose, but don't cling to a label unless you're certain Even then, maybe it's not so great.

I tried so hard not to think about it when I was younger, but as I got older, boys looked more and more appealing to the point where I just couldn't deny my feelings (ouch, that sounded hopelessly cheesy.) In any case, it kind of pieced together a picture of the weird things I did in my childhood and fit well with how I know my mind worked already.

That being said, it's probably different for everyone...

 

I personally believe that it may be possible to be born a certain sexual orientation. However, I do also think it is possible to maybe be born monosexual and later on become bisexual, polysexual, or pansexual.