I'm a guy, 22, virgin, never had a relationship, never been kissed. For most of my life, I believed that I'm straight and didn't really think much about my sexuality. After I hit puberty, I've been in love with girls for a few years. Or at least I thought I was at the time. I would indeed think all day and fantasize about being with those girls. Kissing was part of the fantasies but sex - not really. Maybe I was too young? After I became 16, I haven't cared for anyone else that deeply. I also can't remember having been sexually attracted to girls much. I was/probably still am more focused on the idea of having sex with women itself. It gets worse with every year. I keep promising myself that I will no longer be a virgin until my next birthday. In the last few years I've been having more and more "gay" thoughts. I noticed that strong handsome men turned me on. Recently, I've even started watching gay porn. I mostly search for videos with straight guys. I think that's because it's easier to relate to them, being inexperienced in what they do. The problem here is, I can't imagine a relationship with a man. I don't find very appealing even the thought of kissing with men. In the future, I still imagine myself as married to a woman who I love. Maybe even have kids. I don't think having sex with a woman would be a problem but I get so much more turned on by men. Is it at least somewhat common to want sex with men but prefer relationships with women? Being so inexperienced, all this is just confusing. I mean, I should at least try something before I decide, right? And because it's confusing and I don't know what I want, I keep being inexperienced. It's an endless loop and I'm just getting depressed. Lastly, I'm very afraid that I'll turn out to be gay. I certainly don't want to. I'd probably stay in the closet for many years if I ever come out. I'm afraid of sharing this even with a friends who's bi. It just seems like a point of no return. While being gay is not a crime in Bulgaria and religion is not an issue, too many people are just raised to be homophobic (because of communism/socialism times...) and at best would just not show their belief. It's worse for guys than for girls. But maybe that's a topic for the "coming out" section of the forum. I still don't know what to come out as. PS: I'm decent-looking and mostly comfortable with my body. I don't think my looks are the reason for having no luck with anyone.
I'd say not to look at a date... people need different timespans to evolve, and there are many people virgins at a later age... iI'd say take it easy, listen to your feelings and see where it takes you... and you might do a few things you like and which bring you in contact with other people...
I can relate to you. I was virgin until 20. Was unsure if I felt more comfortable having sex with guys because I was inexperienced and having the same genitalia makes it easier to know how the other guy might like pleasure. For me I grew some balls and began sexually experimenting with guys. Once I got it out of the way I was like "OK that was sex? Not such a big deal.. Not a virgin anymore. Cool I guess?...". Then an urge kicked in to try experimenting with girls to see how I would like it. Not sure if I'm bisexual, homo-flexible, or "straight-curious"? After I had sex with my first female the next day I woke up and said to myself "I had sex with a beautiful woman; but I'm still attracted to men." Once you overcome the obstacles you will gain experience which contributes to confidence because you may feel more comfortable. I've found that talking with friends openly (who are accepting) will help you understand and accept yourself. Things I've heard from my straight friends are "I will never stick my penis into another man's mouth." I'm comfortable and enjoy doing so. Obviously means I am not 100% straight.
I'm kind of in the same boat as you except I'm 21 and a girl. I've kissed a few guys and done a few sexual things but all it's done is made me feeling very uncomfortable. Every year I tell myself "this is going to be the year you lose your virginity". But that thought freaks me out. I really don't think that I want a penis inside of me. I've had opportunities this year to do it but I refuse to take it that far. Sometimes I imagine myself marrying a man and settling down to have a family. But I honestly don't know if I could ever be comfortable being with a man, sexually and romantically. I think these are just thoughts we've grown up with. Things that society and family and friends tell us we're supposed to do? It's very heteronormative and I hate it. I think about girls a lot and I only ever watch girl/girl porn. My nose scrunches up in disgust when I go to the front page and see all the penises and I quickly click on the lesbian section :roflmao:. I'm still very confused though and I've yet to label myself.
For a while, I never liked the idea of kissing a guy, but turns out it can feel really good. I've kissed both boys and girls though, maybe you need to tell the difference for yourself?
