Hi.. I feel awful because I can't talk about this to anyone and this is giving me headaches. So.... I like girls, I always liked girls, since I was little I always found girls way more attractice than boys but I never told anyone because I have always been romantically into boys, I had crushes on boys and even had a few boyfriends in middle school, but nothing serious. So as I said I always liked girls and I always knew that lesbians are girls who like girls but two years ago it hit me and I realised that maybe I was one. I reacted positively, I was totally okay with it but I never told anyone because it never felt completely right as I didn't want to date a girl/have a girlfriend or something like that, I just liked their bodies. Then, last summer, happened somthing that made me start questioning everything again. I started seeing again a boy I used to be really great friends with when we were 11/12 (he comes here every summer for the holidays and lives 200 kms away) and I realised that I had feelings for him, I always have, and he felt the same so we spent a month going out together just the two of us, talking about everything and making out all the time. I was sexually attracted to him and he turned me on all the time even though we never had sex. During the month I spent with him, I never thought about my sexual orientation because I didn't really care about it anymore, if I saw pretty/hot girls on the streets I would just say to myself "that girl's pretty/hot" and that was it. At the end of the summer he left and I started questioning my sexuality again and here I am. I discovered that I like a lot femininity in general, I like feminine girls, feminine boys and feminine non-binary people. I can't talk about this to anyone and I live in the middle of nowhere and I can't meet LGBT people so that I can explore my sexuality.. I just wish I could stop worrying about this but I can't help it and I'm also depressed so this adds up to everything I have to deal with. I probably forgot to say something, I don't know... Anyway thank you for reading and thank you in advance for your reply!
you could be bisexual, there are people that have thought they were straight but later realized they were gay, gay people realizing there were bi and straight to bi, it just matters if you be yourself
You might have a look here: Am I Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender? There is sexual and romantic attraction... and some people say they fall in love with a person not a gender... and some people need an emotional connection first... I'd say take your time... enjoy...listen to your feelings... If you're depressed you might think about talking to a therapist... mabe do a few exercises daily... and eat and sleep healthy... (*hug*)
I don't feel like bisexual is the right word for me because I only am romantically attracted to boys.. I could be bisexual-heteroromantic? Is that a thing? I've been seeing a therapist since the end of November but I never told her about this. Maybe I should..
If someone says a certain orientation doesn't exist then they don't know what they're talking about. As long as you are being yourself, it won't matter whether people says your label exists or not. I've noticed that you go into detail about your attraction in boys, but as far as it goes for girls, there's only been hints that you admire girls in such a way that you wish to see yourself similar to them. Have you had any crushes like you have with that boy in the summer? In any case, You should definitely talk to your therapist about this. Besides on EC, she's the other option to ask questions.
I have always had crushes on boys and girls, but different types of crushes. The crushes I have on girls are just sexual crushes and the crushes I have on boys are romantic and/or sexual.
