Hello, I've struggled with my sexual orientation for years until I reached some kind of certainity roughly a year ago, so that I could start my process of coming out. My problem now is not of a "am I something" sort, but rather is what I experience something to maybe worry about. Thing is, I am quite confident that I am bisexual but the way it often works for me is really weird. I have periods when I am feeling almost 100% straight and vice versa. Like there was some kind of switch in my brain that pushes me to the extremes of Kinsey scale randomly. I don't think it affects my real life crushes when I meet someone I like, but outside of meeting such people I feel confused. This "phenomenom" prevented me from coming out much earlier, now I've learned to live with it - yet it still makes me wonder. Are there any bi/pan people that could relate to this? I suppose someone else's perspective might clear some things up for me.
Hello, I feel exactly like you. My sexual orientation works like your. I have periods of few/several months when I feel nearly 100% Straight and periods when I am vice verse. I also get confused as hell because of this. It feels like I always have to requestion my self when the "switch" happens. So, you are not alone to feel like this. May I ask for how many years you've felt this "switch"?
My orientation works like this too. There were some (2 or 3) years when I was completely confused. One time I liked girls more, a week later I had a crush on a guy. Not long ago I accepted that I'm attracted to both guys and girls, and realized, I don't have to 'choose' either side. Now I go with whichever 'mood' is present at the time. I realized, that it's not only sexuality that works like this for me. I'm mutable in almost every aspect of life. If a topic catches my attention, I go with it, dig deeper, then without a conscious decision I delve into something else. Then I may or may not go back to the previous topic. My interests are going in every direction. Are you like this too?
Actually, that gives me a starting point to think about it from another perspective. As you (HunGuy) describe, I tend to stick to something that interests me and hold on to it quite exclusively until it bores me (except when it comes to sexual preference, it's weeks not months for me). So it might be related to my personality - we're talking about fantasies and not real relationships after all, or at least that was my intention. To biswede - I have no idea. I can only tell you that I was able to repress my same sex attraction almost completely until I was 18, then I gradually started to accept it. Now I'm quite comfortable with it, and my question in this thread comes from me wanting to understand myself better.
Right! I want to get married one day and be in a committed relationship with a family - does it worry any of you like what if you are in a period of exclusive attraction to the same gender (highly likely to occur), while married to someone of the another gender that you will be dishonest? is it different for exclusively heterosexual couples? because they know they will always be attracted at least to each other as concepts?
As for g4rett, it looks to me like you are sexually fluid. According to Bisexuality.org, The Bisexual Index and the Bisexual Resource Centre, for instance, fluid still goes under the umbrella term of bisexual, with the attraction to more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time. As for finding, it would be worrying if someone's attraction is exclusively for the opposite sex to the sex of the person that someone is in the relationship with. When someone is sexually fluid, there is no certain way of knowing what gender they will be interested in at a particular time, unless there is some pattern. In the end, only the individual can decide how to explain their sexuality.
