So, I've been bi/questioning lesbian for a about a year now, and for the most part people accept it. My dad, however, seems to believe that I'm going through a phase. Whenever he teases me about liking boys or anything, thats it, just boys. He hardly seems to acknowledge my homosexuality. This is pretty insulting to me. I went through a long and painful questioning stage where I hated myself and hoped it was a phase. Now I accept myself and wouldn't change if I could. He treats my very real struggles like its a stupid teenage thing. I am definitely sure of my feelings for girls, and I'm even questoning whether I'm a lesbian or not. In fact, I'd say I'm more certain for my feelings for girls than boys. Not that I could ever tell him that, then he'd think im more indecisive. So is it possible I am going through a phase? Do you think its possible? Thanks for reading and advice is appreciated! ---------- Post added 8th Jan 2015 at 08:39 PM ---------- Also, please add what age you knew you were LGBT
Hello little love! It is possible to go through a phase! That doesn't mean that it's happening to you. You never know until time passes really. I have some friends who hardcore thought they were lesbian and turned out to just be a passing thing, and now they only date men - go figure! I also know bisexual men and women who go through that phase only to realize that they're more about the same sex, so the opposite sex was just a phase. I also know lesbians who were gold stars (never had sex/dated men) who found the "right" guy and had a long relationship with that guy, and then broke up, and ONLY went back to women! Go figure! When I was 12-13 I started having feelings for my friends that were girls and boys, and it just so happened that those feelings never went away, so it's either coming out to be a very, very long phase or I am just a bisexual. Here's the thing though! Sexuality is what scholarly people call "fluid." Meaning - you can change how you feel about different sexes/genders all the time! So, technically you could go through many, many phases! People identify themselves every which way, but the whole idea of the phase thing is just silly. It really doesn't matter if it is or isn't one, just that whatever you feel for someone feels real to you right now. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone what promised label you are and restrict your sexual conduct (what sexual stuff you do with other people) based on that. Just do whatever makes you happy, and if it so happens to be phase or not, then who cares! You just be you
Thank you for your kind and helpful answers! This site is really the only way I can get any kind of advice. I think for now, I'll keep going as bisexual to others. I know you're not supposed to label yourself, but I feel it helps them understand me better. I think I will just let my self think about a while and see what happens, maybe try to relax a little and enjoy whatever crushes I may get, hopefully a relationship at some point. Thank you for your guidance!
I can't tell you much more then what she did, but I'll tell you this: Don't let him upset you. He might say horrible things to you eventually, or he'll relax about it. Whatever the case, just remember we're here to support you! I find writing my thoughts down on here relaxing.
Anything's possible, especially when you're 13. Hell when I was 13 I thought I was straight haha Just go with it, it may or may not be a phase, but don't rush to put a label on it now, it's not worth the stress.
