Hey Everyone, I don't know why but somehow I am over-thinking about my surety of sexuality. I know that I am very highly attracted to guys but somehow I keep on doubting. I wander whether my attractions for girls will increase, whether I can try harder and harder to control attractions for guys, whether there could be any reasons that attractions for girls is suppressed, whether it has anything to do with my shy nature, whether my psychology could be challenged, whether my constant anxious nature has anything to do with it, whether accepting & expressing myself truly will not give me happiness and it is all just a myth.. Answers to above questions come as NO and I am not trying to act on anything thankfully now but I am worried that why am I keeping on asking same things to myself and it seems endless. Secondly I wanted to share my worries over my courage.. Although, after considering a very high risk and taking a lot of courage - I could discuss my questioning to some closest friends and extended LGBT support and solve some of the mysteries ... BUT... I am very anxious.. Whether I am strong enough.. Will I be able to gain more courage to come out to others.. Whether I will be accepted.. Why do I have to go through coming out lifetime and will I be able to carry it forward.. Anyone having comments / opinions / advises / similar experiences .?? P.S. I am from India and the environment is really very very very challenging. ---------- Post added 9th Jan 2015 at 05:43 PM ---------- Can anyone please provide some signs in addition to below which one can see to determine sexual and romantic orientation.? - waking fantasy, imagination, dreams, sexual desires - 3 seconds eye contact, checking out in crowd - feeling of being happy with someone - natural by heart without extra work by brain - emotional and/or romantic connection (eh?!)
I might not be as much help for you, but I do know that I've heard a lot of people say not to trust dreams to determine whether you are gay or not, because like you can dream of kissing someone of the same sex, you can also dream of kissing a bird, and it does not mean that your sexual orientation is BIRD-LOVER. bad example, but you kind of get the point. As to waking fantasies or imagination... do you find yourself often thinking of being with someone of your same sex over the opposite sex? If you do, then it might mean that you're gay or bi. I'm sorry if this doesn't help much! But I hope you figure it out, and you're definitely in the right place. Everyone here is really helpful
I feel I am just stuck in over-thinking about my surety of sexuality. I don't know why I go in the same loop again and again...
I did the exact same thing. Before I figured out I was trans*, I was actually heterophobic for a bit. (You know, I got comfortable with the idea of being gay and then when I saw a girl I liked was like "Oh my god no please don't let me be straight", et cetera. Since then, my mindset has evolved: I am now comfortable with girls again, although I like the occasional guy.) My only advice is to just do what feels natural to you, not go thinking about everything: you will go crazy that way. Hope that helped
I know I should let it happen naturally without over-thinking and I am indeed going crazy.. But I don't know how I can implement it on myself .. :help: May be in my next visit to counselor I will put emphasis about this ...
When I was young I was extremely shy, to the point of being socially awkward. For me I think this was due to me not being comfortable with who I was. When I started to admit to myself that I might be gay I initially got very depressed. Then when I accepted who I really was I became happier in myself and the shyness began to disappear. Recently I told a work colleague that I was once very shy she roared laughing and said that was the most ridicules thing she ever heard. As a young man I went to therapy to "cure" my gayness, I thought it was because I had no experience with women and a few dates with girls would awaken my desires. I had experiences with women and even got married, guess what I'm still gay! The most important and probably the most difficult part of coming out for me was coming out to myself. Dealing with these feelings and being honest with myself is helping me have a much happier life, of course I still have problems but I'm much happier within myself. One phrase that helped me figure things out was "The hart wants what the heart wants"
well Vicky90 first of all, you are doing the same mistake as I did and eventually I ended up in OCD, no I am not telling you u will too, all I am telling you is that don't make your lack of attraction to girls the passport to be with a guy. You are gay because you want to be with a guy!! I know you want to declare yourself to be gay by proving that you cannot be with a girl because you are guilt ridden. Your sexuality came to you naturally and be happy with it!!
