22 year old male i have been curious about my sexual orientation since i was about 16 when my friend masturbated in the bed we were on while i was there to sleep over,and i wanted to touch it, but i was 99% sure he was straight which just made me feel awkward waiting for him to finish. because i knew we wouldn't do anything together. i have had only one girlfriend, and we used to have a decent amount of sex. but i would always rather be with my guy friends. i have almost fooled around with guys a couple times when i was drunk but got nervous that they would be straight and stop me and freak out n tell everyone i know that i'm gay. that was a couple years ago since then i had a short week long relation ship with a girl, we had sex twice and then i had to leave and we just ended.( i was in another province at the time) but even while we where having sex i felt pretty uninterested and came rather quickly. the whole while becoming more interested in male P*rnography and fantasies ( starting since watching my friend masturbate under the blankets the year before my longish term first girlfriend ) growing more and more confused about my sexual orientation and not knowing where there are any gay communities around where i live to try anything with other guys and do some experimenting. i have had no further relationships with either sex and have watched about equal parts straight and gay (maybe leaning more toward gay) lately i have started to get frustrated with not knowing because i have this pull toward guys that i want to know if it is serious, which i feel it is. most of my fantasies even when they involve women also involve sucking or receiving a man, which excites me like nothing before. i feel so trapped with my sexuality do you think i am straight? bi? gay? or straight and just curious about an actual gay encounter?
Hello, I hope you are enjoying the site! Based on what you shared with us, I believe there is a great chance that you are bisexual. Maybe 3-4 on the Kinsey scale(if you don't know, the Kinsey scale is the comparison to how much you are attracted to the same sex to the opposite sex. For example 0 being completely straight, and 6 being completely gay.) I think this because you have had both sexual attractions to both males and females. However, have you had any romantic attraction with another male? Like, have you actually had a crush on a guy? If so, then yes, I think you are bisexual. If not, then you are either mostly straight but curious, or bisexual and haven't found the right guy yet. I hope this helped.
i just took the kinsey scale and scored a 3 but the questions : i find men more attractive than women and im sexually submissive are hard to answer because i dont really know
Many people have trouble figuring out their sexuality, you are not alone in that. However you'll probably not figure it out by thinking and worrying about it... If you have urges and interests to try things out with men, then why not give yourself permission to go out and meet a man and go on a date, or hook up (provided you play safe), there is no need to label yourself just yet. I a lot of us struggle with a lot of internalised fears and worries which arise from homophobia, I sense a bit of that in your post: that you want to try something with a guy, but are scared of what it will mean, that you might find out that you are gay. I'd say that somebody who is curious about a same sex experience could be anything: gay, bisexual or even straight, but curious. Acting on your interests will not suddenly make you go from straight and bicurious to gay, if you are not gay. It will also not make you loose interest in women, if you are bisexual. On the other hand if you are gay, then you are gay: not acting on your interests and trying to live a straight life will make you unhappy in the long term, and those urges will not go away, it will only get worse and you will end up living a false life. What I am saying is that your sexuality is the way it already is and trying things out with men will not change it, but not braving to try it will keep you questioning and worrying and doubting, because you are not permitting yourself to find out what you like. You have nothing to loose by acting on your curiosity towards men, and quite a lot to loose if you don't explore it. I'd say first explore whom you like for sex and relationships and then worry about putting labels on yourself, because it is a long process.
I had trouble figuring mine out. I even dated a girl when I was questioning. I explored having a relationship with a girl but I wasn't attracted to them as I was with boys. it took months for me to finally come out and say to myself that I was gay. Not everyone has a hard time though
i have accepted that i was gay before and felt very comfortable saying it,but slipped back into the questioning. i kinda think im scared about labeling myself because saying " im straight" and ending any questions anyone has is easier.
This happened to me as well. I think there is a difference between accepting something on an a conscious level, and really integrating that acceptance into all aspects of your life. It is hard, because just saying something does not really bring a solution to how things are in your life: in my case accepting my sexuality means doing a lot of changes to my life, and it is difficult and I am not really ready for it, so I wanted to avoid all the work and upheaval by just pretending I am not gay. The fact that you are questioning again could be either denial, but it could also mean that 'gay' is not really right an accurate label for you, maybe you are bi or something else. I think the best way to proceed is really to proceed in stages, don't rush and to remember that labels really are approximations of your sexuality, rather than absolutes. Acknowledge what you like and what attracts you to people and go by what you know about yourself, even if it means constructing a very long sentence, such as "I am attracted to ABC, and have a preference A, but can also like C" This is you and your sexuality: it does not need to fit neatly under a label yet. From what you said sounds like you might be more on the gay side, but only you can determine it. What stops you from trying to seek out lgbt groups in your area and meeting guys?
Some people always know who they are in this sense, even from a young age. It has taken me 19 years to figure out what my sexuality is! In this spans of time I've identified as being gay/lesbian, bisexual, and asexual. I can't even remember if there was ever a time when I identified as being straight. I know that this can be stressful. But its in situations like this where it is best to relax and do some soul-searching and research. Search your soul for who you and do research to see if you can find something that matches up with you. Good luck!
I still don't know for sure... Though, I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual, but not really into ''dating'' women. On top of that, I think my sexuality is VERY fluid. I had crushes on both, also.
