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Anxiety since Questioning?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Nickinthemiddle, Jan 11, 2015.

  1. Nickinthemiddle

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    Hello everyone!

    I have a question for yall. In the last few months that I have been confronting my latent true sexuality I have had such bad anxiety, irritable bowel syndrome, even feeling like I need to throw up. Especially when I am reading these books that have lesbians' stories of how they realized (I'm a late bloomer) all along the signs that they were lesbian and I am seeing my signs align with theirs, and the reality of it is hitting me so hard. Not because I am disgusted by myself or by being gay, please don't think that, but because it is so world changing for me.

    Have you experienced this, for those who have not always been completely aware and have basically subconsciously oppressed those feelings, when you are actively confronting those things, and coming out *to yourself* to have very bad anxiety and reactions?

    Thank you in advance for your response to me, thank you :slight_smile:
     
  2. ClimbHikeBike

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    I went through something similar when I came out to myself. You're not alone! I sort of knew in the back of mind for a long time that I was attracted to men, but I'd never before confronted it head-on and dealt with the shift away from my assumed straight identity. It is indeed world-changing, and my mind went into crazy overdrive mode. I was overanalyzing everything and wondering how I could have suppressed my orientation so successfully for so long.

    I know this is easier said than done, and I read it so many times on EC before taking it seriously, but what's worked for me is to realize that whatever I'm feeling is totally fine and to go with the flow. It's not worth spending so much time and energy thinking about how you didn't see the signs or what life will be like going forward. You've discovered the true you; that's a beautiful thing! Enjoy the freedom that affords you.
     
  3. aschen

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    I have been facing my own internal struggles, with my gender identity, but I would like to say that you are not alone. I tried to oppress feelings, a lot. So much so that there were times I had stress and anxiety build up to the point I thought I might have a panic attack or pass out.. But I was able to get through it. The internal struggles are a part of the process. Once I was able to accept and acknowledge my true feelings, talking to a few of my friends really was an eye opening experience. For the most part they were understanding. And one friend told me that life is about figuring yourself out, and that everyone is going through some process of self discovery. I don't know why, but that really hit home to me, and although my path might not be a traditional one, I've really been able to move forward with her advice and support.

    I have since been able to look at myself in a way I think I have always wanted to, and it is liberating. Although I am not ready to come out of the closet just yet, I am certainly on my way. My quality of life has improved and I am no longer facing the anxieties I had before. If I could share some advice I would say not to worry; time is your friend. Coming out to yourself is an important step. Just be true to yourself and everything else will fall into place.
     
  4. lovely lesbian

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    I'm going through the same thing so your not alone
     
  5. Nickinthemiddle

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    ClimbHikeBike, Aschen, lovely lesbian,

    Thank you for your responses. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. I was wondering if this anxiety meant it was like a physical response to my emotional distress and if so did it confirm the discomfort of facing a lifetime of repression. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to respond to me.

    Thank you!