I am a 28 year old male. i always had strong crushes on girl and doted and loved them . nonetheless at the age of 18 I started questioning my sexuality after years of thinking I was straight. I always thought I was different but I didn't guess it was my sexuality. It Just poped into my head maybe your gay, and it's become like a OCd for years trying to find out. Actually more like questioning. It's odd though because i see guys and can honestly say I can tell a good looking guy from a bad looking guy. But I get this rush of fear when I see a good looking guy, like at any moment I am going to find out I am going to realise I am gay. Or that I am sexual attracted to them. I've tried gay porn (don't like it), ****** (havent found one guy I would swipe right to), scrowled through thousand of images of good looking guys but still no instant attraction. However when I am out and about I see more good looking guys that I see women. Alot more. I don't even seem to notice girls that much any more. But I just don't get aroused by them. I've tried hard to be find out, but the more I question and think, the more it becomes a riddle. For many guys it's easy; they would say follow your penis, and if that was the case it would be for girls. I can easily be aroused by women. All the way through till I was 18 I dreamt about girls and having a life with a wife and kids. And I know I am more more emotionally attached to girls than guys. I have dated women, often just to just find out if I am straight or not. Sex is fine and I can easily aroused by them, but often I am questioning (during the sex, which is why I wrote "sex is fine") if it would be better with a guy and I can't let the questions go. After a while I just break up with the girl even if I like them, because it is easier. I am now entering a stage in my life, when I am truly tired of these questions. I thought I would know by now. If I was straight why don't I see more good looking girls than guys. And If I was gay why am I not sexually attracted to guys emotionally or physically (especially when I compare it to girls). help anyone
you see more good looking guys in the streets and then you say you aren´t attracted to men physically compare to girls... (?)
FUCKING SAME!!!! Although for me, it has been going on for just a month. What I've, I guess, noticed lately, is that my OCD is taking over my thoughts so much, that every time I see a pretty girl, it just starts reeling and going "DID YOU SEE HER? you looked at her because you're attracted to her, YEah, you did" even though??? I obviously did not! Maybe you used to notice guys just as much as you do now, but you never thought anything of it because, well, your thoughts were fine. Just like mine used to be before I started freaking out and questioning whether I was straight or not. I read something online that says that it's totally normal for people with HOCD to stop feeling attracted to who they thought they were originally attracted to. They don't start feeling attracted to the same sex, but they just don't feel attracted to anyone anymore. My conclusion out of this is that maybe our thoughts are so strong, that really we leave very little space to attraction, and we're scared because we think this means that we're gay. It's a never ending cycle of obsessive thoughts over our sexuality, and it's complicated, but I really hope you figure it out! I'm no help AT ALL, but I guess it's kind of reassuring to see people with the same problem you have, because this means you're not alone in this. aaand we can help each other get through this. (&&&)
There's a lot there that's very familiar to me. I'm 30, and I'm just tired of the confusion. I have generally come down on the side of being gay, but I still worry that I've talked myself into that position, and that as and when I pull a guy I'll figure out that I'm not. Now when I recognise a girl as attractive I feel mildly annoyed. I just want the questioning to be over. I spent years thinking that I could recognise attractive guys more easily than girls but didn't want to do anything with them. Now most of the time I think I do, but I'm not sure. There are definitely differences between us. I find it easier to get emotionally attached to guys than girls, and while I could get turned on by straight porn, I wouldn't say I was easily aroused by women other than that. I've tried to move forward by just not forbidding myself from thinking anything - allowing crushes to develop a bit, and carrying out lots of thought experiments, wondering how I'd feel in one set of circumstances or a different set of circumstances. Anyway, good luck!
That's exactly me, so I know where you're coming from. Hits me every damn time. When I see a good looking father figure type guy I get a sudden rush of fear then the thoughts turn sexual and I get even more anxious, and it is not a pleasant feeling, I'll tell you that. Don't use porn as a method to find out your sexuality. Porn in itself is very one dimensional, meaning it only represents one thing: sex, which is a needle in a hay stack, and metaphorically I mean it's the smallest portion of a relationship. This happens when you're always questioning yourself with the "Am I gay" thoughts. It overwhelms your mind and that's all you can think of, therefore your mind has no room to notice girls anymore because you'll always be "checking" and asking yourself "Do I find that guy attractive" type of questions. This is a tricky one, because a lot of factors could be contributing to it. You probably aren't gay, and these are just OCD thoughts that are messing with you, or it could be in denial. Of course, only you would know. In the end, you'll be the one who decides on who to identify as. I've had feelings for girls all my life, so when I compare myself to a gay individual, I would assume that they would have feelings for guys all their life, but either go through stages of denial or for other reasons. The thing about OCD is that no answer will be good enough for you, you'll keep searching for more. It's like if you had all the money in the world, you could easily spend it on everything you want, but once you do, then what? What have you truly accomplished? I would recommend talking to a therapist/psychologist. Someone more experienced in the sexuality field could benefit you more, especially long term. It has for me.
