Hey I'm Caleb and I think I'm gay. Here is why: First of all I have a girlfriend whom I've been dating for 6 months. I thought I loved her until recently. My best friend for 8 years and current roommate who is gay confessed he has feelings for me. When he told me I was a little drunk but he kissed me and I liked it I kept blaming it on the alcohol but I can't deny it anymore. I kept thinking of him in a different way. I CAN'T BE GAY. I was born in a religious Christian family and my mom is a huge homophobe. Every time I'm with my girlfriend I feel nothing and just think about him. I told him I was confused and I wanted to confirm it so I kissed him and it turned into a makeout. I pushed him away but I have to admit it I liked it and I definately want it to happen again. Thing is I can't be gay or my parents will disown me. He also spooned me in my sleep and I woke up in his arms, I realized I couldn't fight it. He said "Admit it Cay, you're definately gay or bisexual and you liked it when we made out." Though what he is saying can't be true but it is. This happened yesterday morning and I prenteded like I was mad and haven't talked to him since. HELP!! What do I do?
Hey Caleb, welcome to EC! As you probably realized, alcohol can't change someone's orientation. It may, however, make you more brave to act based on your true orientation. Well, first, relax and calm down. Even if you conclude that you are, indeed, non-straight (which is likely, judging by your post, that you may be bisexual or gay), it is ok. There is nothing wrong in loving whoever you love. Plus, you don't need to come out to others if you don't want to. This is about you, not about what person X or Y might think about your feelings. First of all, you should try analyzing your own feelings, without lying to yourself. Do you feel attracted to women? And men? Do you fantazise about women, men, or both? Answer these questions in your own mind, with honesty. Don't rush it, take it slow if you want to, there is no one pressuring you to do anything. The first step (and, sometimes the hardest) is coming out to yourself. I suggest you take a look at the resources page too. Empty Closets - Coming Out My main advice: Be calm, don't rush anything if you don't want to. Take your time. Hugs, we are here if you need more advice or just want to chit-chat
Great post above. I'm also relatively new to all of this - I came out recently, which implied breaking up with my girlfriend with whom I've been in relation for 7 years. I live in a conservative family, thing were very rough with my parents after I came out, but they understood, after many questions and conversations with me. Had to reassure them a lot - but they accepted it. This all happened recently to you, I'd advise you to let the dust settle a bit. See where your thoughts are going.The important thing is to remain true to yourself. Take time to think things through before making any move, whether it be regarding your GF or best friend. Before the events you exposed in your post, did you have an attraction to guys? In your life, have you ever been attracted or curious towards guys? Or ever questioned your orientation? Determining if you are gay or bisexual cannot be based on the simple fact you cuddled / made out with a friend and seemed to like it. You have to determine, in the grand scheme of things, which gender you're attracted to - sexually, physically and emotionnally. Hoping this helps a bit. I know questioning yourself is tough. But we've all been there at some point.
I think you might want to look back and think if you haven't had crushes or something like a crush without really 'knowing it'(because you just didn't think you'd be gay/bi, OR because you didn't want to) like posters above said, you need to figure out which gender(s?) you're attracted to and what you want to do with these feelings. But you should talk to your friend, because IF you aren't bi/homosexual OR if you feel like you just don't know yet, you should tell him, because he, clearly likes you a lot, and you probably don't want to lead him on... So, keep us updated :icon_bigg and hugs and
Christianity, the bible says you care condemn if you are gay. Yet, God is all loving, so you shouldn't feel bad for being gay. God loves all his children. God didn't write the bible the bible was written by his followers after his death. Pray to God you will see he doesn't discrimination you for being different. God is the the creator of all, then he also created you out of love. Tell your parents that! Yes, you are gay. What is the point of being with a girl when all you think about a guy? I'm sure she rather be hurt knowing the truth then not to know.
