Hi. I am having some issues. I am a teenaged female. Growing up, I had crushes on guys. But I also had crushes on girls. I am not sure what is going on. I don't know if I am straight, gay, or bisexual. I am so confused. Recently, my friend told me she is bisexual. Ever since I met her I thought she was pretty and really liked her. Now that I know she is available for a romantic relationship, the attraction has grown stronger. She hugged me and I wanted to kiss her. She called me sweetie and I wanted to spill my heart out to her and tell her I am falling for her. I don't know... I feel more attracted to her romantically than I ever did with my past boyfriends... I have no idea what is going on and what to do and who I am...
Hi! And welcome to EC. Your post reminds me a little of me, so of course I have to try to answer. As a kid and teen, I had crushes on both guys and girls, but never really paid attention to it. I didn't call myself straight, gay, or bisexual; I didn't really care. That changed when I really fell for a girl, a friend. It's not surprising you're questioning your sexuality this way. I'd just like to tell you not to worry too much about it. I know it's easy to say, but try, anyway. You're still young. It's not the end of the world if you don't have a label. Explore this is healthily as you can. If your friend is bisexual, you can tell her you are questioning, if you haven't already. Again, it's easy to say and harder to do, but coming out to someone LGBT usually yields good results. You could also ask her how she knew she was bisexual, and that you're wondering whether you might be. You don't need to tell her you're attracted to her if it scares you. Talking it out could really help. If you're not ready for that, analyze the situation on your own. Do you think you're only attracted because you know she's bi, or was there already something there before? Can you see yourself dating a girl? Do you or have you ever wanted to kiss a girl, do you feel physically and emotionally attracted, etc...? Then ask yourself the same question about guys. Or, an example that applies to me, do you watch the male or female lead most in a movie, or both, or one depending on how attractive they are? Remember that being bisexual doesn't necessarily mean equal attraction to men and women. By what you're describing, it's possible you might be bisexual, but ultimately you're the only one who can know. Don't let other people label you! As for the friend herself. If you do end up thinking you're bisexual or a lesbian and interested in pursuing a relationship with her, you'll have to come out to her at some point -- again, coming out to someone who's bisexual herself will usually go over well, even though it will be scary! A not-so-scary way to do it is to increasingly drop references to LGBT in the conversation, and occasionally seriously discuss LGBT topics, so when you come out it doesn't feel like it comes completely out of the blue.
Thank you so much for all your help! I just felt so confused and lost. All my life, I was told you have to know exactly who you are and what categories you fall under. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and being so helpful!
@musicbandpain like Lyana said, you don't have to be sure, you don't have to label yourself if you just can't or maybe just don't want to. Maybe you could tell her you're questioning and it might help that she's come out to you as bi, so she'll probably understand you good luck and keep us posted
I know exactly how you feel. I think I'm getting more and more crushes on girls than guys as I get older. And it got worse (or better haha) when I fell for my friend like you have. Its silly to say but just be yourself and do what feels natural to you
I've been talking with her about it for a while. This morning, I told her everything. And asked if it is okay I am falling for her. She said it is great because she is falling for me, too! We've been talking all morning and I feel so amazingly happy! She just came out to her mom Wednesday, about a week after she told me. I've known her for over a year and had a crush on her for almost as long. Now that I know it is okay, I can let myself have feelings for her. I have only talked to her and you guys about it. So, if we want to have an open relationship, the obvious difficulty is coming out to everyone. But, now I know she feels the same way!!!!!!!!! Thank you both so much for your support!!! I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors!! Message me if you ever need to or want to talk1 ---------- Post added 17th Jan 2015 at 09:13 AM ---------- Thank you so much!!!! Feel free to talk anytime if you need support. I get what you mean. When I was younger, I developed a huge crush on my best friend. I pushed it to the side (she had a boyfriend). Overtime, I grew to love her as my sister. With my friend now, it feels different. Stronger.
