So I'm going to try to keep this as short as I can, but I don't have anyone I feel comfortable with talking about this in real life, so this is probably gonna be a bit of a word dump. So I started seriously questioning my sexuality probably around October. Since then I started to imagine myself with girls, not just sexually, but also romantically, and I found that it mad me feel more comfortable then imaging myself with a guy. And I've sort of realized that whenever I think about straight sex, it's usually in a biological context, like "This is how babies are made", but whenever I imagine two girls, I feel really tingly and it seems more pleasurable. It's just sort of easier and more comfortable for me to imagine myself being romantic and sexual with a girl vs. with a boy. So at this point, I've at least sort of realized that I'm most likely not straight. My issue comes in the fact that I don't really remember having a real crush on someone. In Preschool I remember that I wanted to marry my best friend (who was a girl) but another friend (who was a boy) told me girls couldn't get married (we didn't know any better ) so then I decided I was gonna marry him instead. In elementary school, the only "crushes" I ever had on guys were ones my friends basically accused me of having, which I always denied (and I don't think I ever really did have a crush on them). I'm in high school now, and I still don't think I've ever really had a crush. Whenever I've had something resembling a crush on a guy, it was basically I thought about them for two days, worrying about it ("Do they like me or were they just being nice?" or "Do I even like them?") and ended with me deciding it didn't matter what they felt because I wasn't really into them. With girls though, anytime that has happened I thought about them for a longer time (months instead of days) and I wanted them to notice me, wanted to impress them, etc. I guess the reason I don't know if these are crushes is because I've never felt....I guess what you're supposed to feel? I've never felt butterflies in the stomach or unable to talk to them or whatever else you're supposed to feel when you have a crush. So I guess I don't know if what I feel towards girls is a desire to be friends rather than something more? I don't really know what a crush feels like so I don't really have anything to compare it to. I'm trying not to stress too much about this but I would also like to stop being confused >_< I appreciate anyone who has read this, and I appreciate any advice or comments anyone can give!
Everyone is a little bit different, so its hard to say really. When I have a crush i start visably shaking when i even try to talk to them, but i get the feeling im probably more intense than most people with that. Try not to over analyze what you feel. You would probably figure out a lot more after some experience. Take a chance or two, and you can think about it afterward. (Just dont do anything too extreame) It certainly helped me.
I agree with Fogspace, everyone's crush manifests differently. For me it took a long time before I realized my crush on a girl is a crush. I've personally never felt unable to talk to the girl but I always felt a slight pang in the stomach whenever she walked into the room (in fact i still do). And my first instinct was to be a little colder to her (which I now regret) so she wouldn't find out ... I did this even before I realized it was a crush. I'm just that kind of asshole. I'dsay don't sweat it and give it time. For me it just snapped into place. You could ask yourself some questions however. do you sometimes feel physically unable to tear your eyes off them? Do you find yourself daydreaming about them, maybe your relationship? I'm sorry if I wasn't much help good luck figuring it out!
Thank you, both responses are helpful, and I will try to keep it in mind when I am considering my possible crushes! I really appreciate it
I used to think I was faking or something because I don't recall having any crushes on female when I was younger..but remember that we live in an heteronormanitive society, and it's unfathomable to even think about any other option until you're enlightened and finding yourself. even if you're finding out who you are later in life you're still valid also i totally understand that desire to put a label on it, but if you're not sure just go with the flow and eventually it'll all make sense
Hey, I'm super new here, BookNerd, but I can relate to how imagining it (for me being with a guy) is more comfortable and feels natural, but I can't reckon it with how I was told romance works.
