Hi there! As the title says, I'm almost positive I'm interested in solely women, but I have a boyfriend of almost 2 years who I love very much. I understand that dragging out the relationship is unfair to him, but there's a little part in me that thinks I might be misguided? I don't enjoy sex with him and we never do it, and I'm repulsed by his male parts. We barely even kiss any more because it feels wrong. I've also noticed myself becoming more and more interested in women, though I had always had a slight interest (I always brushed it off as appreciating them as a fellow girl or whatever). I never really considered the idea of me being a lesbian because I was raised in a small town where everyone is straight, so the idea never really occurred to me. But I do still find him to be attractive, but not like "I want to get naked with you and do the do" attractive, just handsome I guess. I'm not sure if I'm trying to come up with reasons not to lose him or something. Another thing to note is that I was raped by a previous boyfriend, and have had a hard time being intimate with any man, but that was almost 3 years ago and while I'm not totally over it, I feel like this feeling towards men is a permanent change. Anyway, I'd really appreciate some advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation.
Well, I have absolutely zero experience with any of these, but I thought I would give you a free bump back to the top, because this sounds legitimate. Also, don't worry about your boyfriend. Just be completely honest with him. He has been with you for two years. He will understand. And if he doesn't, you're better off without him.
It sounds to me like you are a lesbian. If you feel sexually attracted to girls and can imagine having sex with a girl, but you don't feel sexually attracted to guys and find the thought of having sex with one repulsive, so you seem to be homosexual. There is nothing wrong in having a relationship with a man, because almost every lesbian has ever been in one. There is nothing wrong in liking a guy and finding him handsome, especially when you have been with one for 2 years. But if it stops there, obviously this is not the right thing for you. At least with me it's the same way.
As as teenager I once was fearful of men, I ended having a caring and gentle bf I ended up marrying. So it can change, when we are hurt we tend remember it. But not letting go of the past can affect how you view men now. I can understand females seems safer, but ultimately it might be a man who you love most but your anxiety and fear will be difficult. This book as helped me maybe it could help you Miracles Happen by brian weiss M.D. Im more sexually attracted to females, but i love my husband more than any attraction to female. One day you might be surprised that you end up finding a loving and trusting guy your sexually can change to like both sex and become bisexual. If it doesn't and your trust in men doesn't heal you will be a lesbian. For now your bf seems better fit as your best friend.
